lexchew's Unplugged

2011 Goals.

2011-01-20T18:33:00.000+08:00

Goals must be specific. It must be done in 2011. It must be achievable. there must be KPI's attached to it. and i've heard more crap to goal setting. i'll heck those for now. Details. Too much details here.

Vietnam.
Hoovit.
Biospry.
Voxigen.
Baptism.
HDB.
Dual Output Desktop.
10kg.
42km.
SGD 75k.

To love 50% of ppl i meet. To hate less. How much less ? 50%.
To make my mum happy. How? Call her twice a week.
To pangseh less. i can only PS 10 times this year.
To be less explosive and judge less.

Though the tortoise won in the story, i believe a humble rabbit would have won again and again.

Win the race, wabbit.

2010.

2010-12-31T02:43:00.001+08:00

So 2010 zinged past us and immediately we dive into 2011. It's like finishing one game of bowling, and the next is coming right after. And just like bowling, we cant bring the negative emotions from the previous game into the next one, and we have to play to win.

The question that was on my mind was - what did we win in 2010 ? And more importantly, what did we lose ?

Well, i believe there's lots of things to rejoice about. So I shall start with the good stuff. Hoovix has been great. Have also been involved with 2 other companies. Still trying to prove my worth in them, one is Bytematter.com, which recently just launched Voxigen(beta), a mobile app which recognises text from images, translates them, and speak them aloud if you want it to. The next is Biospry, a biomedical company which is in the early stages, trying to raise funds for one of its innovative products. My role in them is different, but revolves around their product, and services. Hopefully my experiences can help them move forward faster.

Have found someone i've been looking for, for a long time. We've been together for 6 months now, and we've been ups and downs, mostly ups this year, thank God. The family loves me, her 2nd sister not so much, but well. We give and take.

I been back home more times than i ever did in the past 7 years, and I am enjoying it. Hate the airlines though, but there's not much choice.

Got myself the Singapore PR this year. Tried volunteer work with National Youth Council. Found Eric Khuong in Feb 10. Gary got married. Started knowing more about the so-called God on 13th June 2010, after Emmanuel Church of Singapore's 40th Anniversary dinner. Bidded for BTO at yishun. Decided to heck it even though we got the queue number of 40. And of course i ran my first marathon in my life. and my first church camp. my first batam trip. first exposure to Rupiah

We lost a beloved grandpa on Christmas day, and we all felt the pain. I lost my phone in Nov before my KL trip, and I have replaced it with the same phone. Lost a lot of time catching up with friends, because of busy work schedule. at the end of the day, im still not sure how to balance up the time to meet friends, and work. I too lost my temper in numerous occasions.

Like i said, i've been really blessed in 2010.

It was almost yesterday that i posted an album called "2009 in 100 photos".

And i guess i have to tidy up my folders and select 100 photos :)

Next blog entry : 2011, what's next? and the 100 photos for 2010.

An Empty Christmas

2010-12-26T02:19:00.001+08:00

This Christmas has been solemn one. We all had heavy hearts few weeks before Christmas, since we were at Batam for the Annual Church Camp. Grandpa Leow has been admitted into the hospital.

One thing led to another, and he went from the normal ward, to the high dependancy unit, to the intensive care unit.

We were there a few times, during lunch time, and our hearts sank every time we saw him. It must be painful.The 84 year old man has all sorts of tubes attached to his body. The incompetent doctors and half boiled trainee student nurses didn't make the situation better. My apologies, but if you can't treat every patient like your own grandpa, and when you freaking rolled your stupid eyes when we asked that you drip some water onto the man's lips,you deserve to just go cook some shit and help yourself.

You see, if you're Lee Kuan Yew, you'll have 10 specialists and maybe 20 more nurses taking care of you. Ok this is a bit childish, but well, if you can't give top quality service, then don't call yourself a hospital. With constructions nearby, there's so much dust and noise. What the hell are the people on top thinking ? Have they ever stayed in there before?

Looking at his family members was tougher. When we prayed, I didn't shed a tear. Till now. Well, my response was always slow. It takes me a while to realise that the person is no longer with us anymore. I grieve 4 years after my grandma passed on.

Lots of lessons to be learnt from life, and death. There's not much time here. I'll save that for another entry.

Christmas days would be the day we remember Grandpa Leow. During world cup 2010, when we were watching the 3am matches, he would ask us which countries were playing against which ones. During church, he would always sit at the end of the row, because he would always visit the washroom at about 75% of the sermon. I don't know why but his tiny but steady footsteps always made my heart dance. He's incredible independant for a 84 year old. Man of a few words, I could always hear him asking one of the siblings about the other's whereabout in chinese. I always felt love when he did that.

I didn't have a chance to know this man. I believe he's a great man, and he's loved deeply by his grandchildren, and his children.

Now he's gone, for the treasures in heaven, and I, for one, will remember him during every Christmas Day.

Now how do we grieve ? How do we be at peace, when someone is no longer with us. When you call the person, nobody will answer, you go to his room, he will no longer be there. His faint footsteps will fill our empty hearts. The chair which was once occupied by him. His favourite cup. What do we do ?

There are fundamental questions which mankind have not been able to answer, in spite of the advancement of science.

Where do we go when we die ?

Spiritually, we believe the soul and spirit leave the body, uniting with God. That's what we believe as Christians. This gives us a closure, as this was clearly written in the bible.

We humans are the only spieces on earth that have the mind to pray to things. We pray to rocks, the sky, the suns, the volcanos, the rain, the trees. We somehow found solace in prayers. And that's why we need to be satisfied spiritually. it's a need.

Believe in something. Anything.

The race, 2010.

2010-12-06T12:34:00.000+08:00

I'd love to begin with the end, since everybody would curious how it turned out, but the end has no meaning at all, without the juice of the journey. And I believe you're interested in the story, of a first timer of a full marathon runner.

When you tell people that you did a marathon, the first question would be, half or full? Did you finish it? How was it?

Well, I asked these questions before, and that was before I ran one myself. Now i have a different set of questions - What's the timing? How was the route? When did you start walking?

I've always quoted 'marathon' in my projects to our programmers. Seems that it's the logical thing to do. Since it's long, you don't see the finishing line, and the shit that you go through makes you want to give up. Since last year, i realise you've got no rights to quote marathon till you ran one before.

And I thought, this is good opportunity to actually try one.

And along the way, I reflected in so many ways, the analogy of life to marathon, is actually a pretty close one.

You see, the first 30km ( surprisingly ) was ok for me. I reached the 21.5 mark in 3hours 10 minutes, and i thought hey, i am still alive. Given that i'm overweight and only trained weekly for the past 2 months or so, I thought i was ok. Since the start at Orchard Road, I've been pacing myself, ignoring others. I've been overtaken by hordes of people continously, till we reached the end of east coast park. After the 21.5 mark, people started to walk. I was still moving, noticably slower. This time, i was overtaking hordes of people.

And along the way, I was listening to conversations. at least 50 of them, and some talked about travel, some talked about their girlfriends, some joked about the marathon, but most of the time, I caught keywords with negative emotions attached to it. "the marathon really very long ah", "my legs very pain", "i think cannot already" ( i can remember most of em, just lazy to type, since you should have got my drift ). And I feel that those are not very useful. It's all about expectations i guess.

The furthest that i've ran in my life, is maximum 8km i think, when i was with the NUS dragon boat team, when we ran the Dover Route. And those guys were running, not jogging. And along the way, my mind was helplessly creating thoughts to distract itself from the pain. I've through about practically everything, and all in all, i think I prayed to the God the most number of times.

The water points, and the only banana point, became my only motivation.

And so, God sent her to me.

You see, I didn't know why my left foot was so painful after 30km, but when i reached home to take a look at it, i saw it. Here you go :

There must be something wrong with the way I land. And it was really painful. I was not panting or anything after 35km, but rather suffering from the stupid blister. Damn it.

During the last 10 km, there were lots of people walking, sitting around, and even more in the last 5km. I was thinking to myself, how come these people give up now ? Why now? Why when you know the finishing line is so damn near already? You've come so far? I have the urge to tell every single random person i saw, suddenly slowing down/stopping this - hey, come on. This is my first time, im fat, and if I can continue, you definitely can.

Why is life so similar to a marathon? We go through shit, we have our moments of motivation, and we definitely can't see what is our finishing point. But we strive everyday, vowing to make our next step better. We can, if we really want it badly.

And so, I finished the Official Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore 2010 . When I looked back at the route, i didn't know how i did it, but I did it. And now, I'll prance around with my finisher shirt, disappoint people's expectation that I would not have completed :) And of course put some ice on my poor legs.

"It's all in the head."

A beautiful ending.

2010-12-03T02:19:00.000+08:00

That's all we all need. Because the last mile, is the hardest. The last push for the iron. The last game point. The last hundred thousand. The last chapter. the last kilometre.

42km will not be a joke. So is 4095km up next April. No wonder after those two, some become more manly than before.

Have got new shoes for em. Broke into them already. Loved the NUS terrain. Loved the slopes. Love the dripping sweat.

This sunday will be defined as, the day I ran half of Singapore. The day I run the streets I know so well. Orchard. Chinatown, Nicole Highway, East coast park.

I begin to really believe - it's all in the mind.

2010 shall end with a finisher tee, a relaxing church camp, and perhaps a beautiful countdown.

Immediately the weekend when I lost my phone, I got a little deal which reimburses it right back. I'm at peace with myself now. The stupidity should decrease with each lost phone. And lesson learnt.

I regret how i dealt with some situations sometimes.

A real lesson must be painful. If not it doesn't bite.

Good luck Standchart Runners. God be with your legs.

Love lost.

2010-11-29T17:29:00.000+08:00

I remembered that night.

I was back from somewhere. Not sure from where.

She was there. The one i wanted.

She was brilliant, intuitive and somewhat masculine.

It was touch at first sight.

When i got to know her better;

it just felt perfect. Nothing has beaten this feeling before.

When she does what exactly what you wanna.

when she behaves so girly,

charming everyone in the room.yes she's will never beat the other fruit,

but it's the potential that matters.

i always thought she was my desire.

I promised myself i will not allow anyone to harm her.

I vowed that i take care of her till she's, obselete.

But the world is a cruel place.

and like i mentioned, humans are just stupid creatures.

and they never learn the past mistakes.

Over-dramatised ?

RIP HTC Desire. 10 Aug 2010 - 18 Nov 2010

November rain.

2010-11-18T01:34:00.002+08:00

As we become more conscious of time and space, we tend to be more aware of the timeline and invisible deadlines. We hear people saying time flies. The fact is that it does, and most of us understand the implication of wasting it, but the sad truth is that we stil linger online typing nonsensical posts like this one, trying to document life, as we live it.

Our generation is very different from our great grandfathers', and we are not any happier, nor do we squeeze more out of life more than they did. Yes, life was tough, there was war, and their mindsets were very different from now.

We did not experience hardship, and we did not go through war, therefore most of us are less patriotic, and we grew up being woosies. Yes we have our app on itunes, and we have a cool facebook profile, or myspace page with 10k visits. And not to mention a twitter account following 5k users. All these are already part of our life, and we value our online presence. Yes. Our grandfathers would spit at them and ask us to go out and hunt some ducks.

We lost our manliness to the algorithms, codes and the next cool application which we're developing. We seem to forget that the world is supposed to be our oyster, not the internet. Not sure how you feel, but this internet cult is taking a toll on me, and I have a secret wish - one that will never come true - to forget all this and do something with more meat, perhaps to help the world in another way, perhaps to improve their health. As if answering my prayers, i recently got the opportunity to join this start-up which is into medical technology. They develop medical devices and i'm onboard to help them market them. I feel that this mission is much more nobel. To do something for mankind.

As we row down this stream of opportunities, we try to grab on to those that is most beneficial, and something which is the most meaningful to ourselves. My mind never stops thinking, and this is a habit i stole from my best friend back in secondary school, who never seemed to have stop pondering about stuffs. Why is this that, why is that that. This child-like curiousity has made my life so exciting, venturing into different sectors of the economy.

So what have I been up to ?

Past few months have been very very good months. Projects were swift, relationships were smooth, and God was forgiving.

So got the new HTC Desire in August as a present and I have been enjoying it since. Runnin' on the Froyo! Well, I respect Apple, can recite the story in my sleep, but I believe that if the inspiration and strength is from one man alone, the company won't go far. Yes we love Steve Jobs. All of us. But Android is open source. Yes, an open battle. Look at IE. It sux, we hate it, it's still around, killing all of us slowly, mangling web pages, but it's still the king out there. We support FF for years now, the numbers were creeping up, but what else can we do ? It's difficult over take a juggernaut.

Hmm. Have been in talks with lots of people. Have been growing in lots of areas. Spiritually, I am learning to talk to God cos he can help in most cases ( some would argue that i should use 'all') but yup. Have also been talking to more variety of people, people with different passions, weird hobbies, varying backgrounds with different childhood fears. lol. These give me the perspectives i desperately need for my life.

Have been very intimate with the sky, and grew sick of it. I'm gg to slap the next person that tell me that he wants to fly away from Singapore. Hate the waiting at the airport, trying to fiddle with wireless, get connected only to find that there's nothing much to do other than facebook. Hate the waiting in the plane. Flying is boring.

Spent 2 weeks in shanghai in September, the love is still there. But the food is meaningless without the smoke from skye, the intelligent comments from yaohs, and not forgeting Damon's ever optimistic way of looking of things, Gary's way of describing good food etc. I tried eating alone near 凯旋路 but the feeling is not there ( went there few days earlier than the bridegroom and damon for a little break )

October was flying back home to shuttle my dad around for his cataract surgery. Working on the plane, airport, etc is no fun. I became darker from all the driving too. But mum was happy that i was back often :D

August was trip to KL and Kuching.

2010 is pretty much gone, and November will be my first month trying out with a medical technology company producing biomedical devices. I'm excited. I believe they can go really far, and I can help them out. More Ngee Ann Polytechnic trips for me. Yays.

Hoovix's Android App is also about 40% complete. The UI and game mechanics still need some tweaking. We were really lucky to have meet some really great talents along the way. Thanks CG and Eric.

Bytematter's Voxigen app is also 90% complete. It's ready to go to the market, just need to confirm the UI and payment module. All the functions are working perfectly, and now we need to execute the plans to garner users.

December will be exciting. 42k Standchart Run. First time for me, might be the last. Not sure if i'll really die or something. Church Camp in Batam will be exciting too. And then come Christmas. And End of January will be preparing for Chinese New Year already.

Lots of things to learn from 2010. The mistakes. Experiences are priceless.

Oh and we had Go-stop yesterday at Aaron's new office. Been a while since we played.

Pretty much met all of 2010's dreams and goals. Time to move on to 2011. A second Intern ? One full timer ? We'll stay in NUS for a while. Got to know some of the guys pretty well. and it's near Ding's office.

Ding just came back from Taiwan! And she's got lots of things for everyone. Can't reconcile why must buy things for ppl, as I don't do that, not sure why, maybe i'm a loner. oh wells. I do buy but not for SO MANY ppl. ;/ Damon does it too, and i am usually happy when he returns from somewhere with something for me. No matter how small. Maybe I should start doing that.

Ding's been pretty much in every aspect of my life now. Work, love and life. I was just telling her yesterday that everything is moving very very smoothly now, and she replied saying this is the time to build the foundation and trust so that when shit happens, we have that to fall back on. I agree. She's been very understanding when it comes to my startup situation and i'm excited to bring her to see my parents this weekend. You'll be surprised how motivated I've become and how things seem to fall into place.

This weekend we'll be attending a TIE conference in KLCC and then swing by my place for the weekend.

And oh Eugene managed to convince me to be trained by him to build up some 'lines' and muscles >< and i played soccer for the first time in 15 years i think. and i sprained my ankle in the last 30 minutes. Loved the sun, loved the sweat. And would do it again next weekend perhaps.

Have been quite regular at Max's place too these few months and loving the tea, the family, the house, the children. Love it.

Gotta update more often. I shall do it at least monthly.

Try to love your work. Have fun and change the world along the way.

About the hometown [backdated]

2010-10-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

The feeling is very different. The last time which I was back was in April, and it's august now.

We've heard so much about this country, especially the tabloids in Singapore. Not a lot of good things actually come out of it.

The perspective which I got this time was a very different one. One of a tourist's. I try not to see the struggling broken social and economic fabric. I ignore how the taxpayers' money was carelessly poured into the sea of useless structures and buildings to house ineffective barely bilingual civil servants. How the Highway roadworks always seem to happen all year long, especially during the public holidays, and not during midnights. I try to understand the country from a foreigner's view.

Since young we've been influenced to repel them. They get the rights. They get the right of way. The leaders are biased, corrupt and are just filling in to fit their own personal agendas. We're the invited child. And we claim that we built the country.

When I come back this time, I saw improvements. I saw the struggling lower class from various races.

It's a great country. This is my conclusion after a week here as a tourist. Just like any country, they're almost always friendly to foreigners, and helpful too.

Sometimes we hate so much we forgot to love. We forgot the greens along the highway. We no longer remember the seemingly never ending northsouth highway which we know by heart. The white rectangular consistent lines which ran for 1000 kilometers.

Most of the food here have not been commercialized and still has the authentic taste. The roadside stalls which have been around for the past 50 years stand true to its taste and genuinty. The food originity battle, was meaningless and we know deep in our hearts what the outcome should be.

ONCE: Falling Slowly

2010-09-11T23:56:00.000+08:00

For you humans out there.

2010-08-26T13:44:00.004+08:00

Same old, New Perspective

2010-08-24T16:25:00.002+08:00

Cat city !

2010-08-17T10:55:00.002+08:00

Marching Forward.

2010-08-01T02:45:00.005+08:00

Happy One year old !

August has always been the month of the year filled with celebrations. We celebrate birthdays, we celebrate birthdays. The beginning of the month, is our beloved Singapore’s. The end, is our neighbor Malaysia’s. And somewhere chucked in the middle, my own, and whether by fate or by accident, August too calls for the celebration of the birth of Hoovix.

Exactly a year ago, we registered the Private Limited, after Fatty Gary picked a good day from his holy Chinese calendar book ( in the form of a website ). I’m not especially superstitious, but why not, if he’s doing all the searching. Following these little superstition does more good ( peace to the mind ) than harm usually.

I’m not going to pretend that I loved history, but when I’m not too busy, while travelling on our fantastik public transportation system, I do find time to reminiscent the years, how they went, and what I’ve learnt from them. It’s not been easy. I have a shirt that I particularly like to wear, as it portrays my feelings, and some of my peers who decided to embark on this journey. It says “struggle” on the front.

It’s not been easy. There’s a saying that goes – if that something is easy, it’s not worth doing anyway. To start something from scratch, to create something out of nothing, is always difficult. Imagine all the wet blankets, the free lip service people try to give. But we made it. We've completed over 25 projects, and we have punched the air numerous times. We'll continue to move forward.

I would like to thank all of you who believed in us, our partners. Hoovix is one year old, still a toddler, but we’re learning fast. The milestones are not worth mentioning, but those who know, will be happy for us. Those cockups, well, we learn. That’s all we can say. All those AARs. For the loser, we can only say we learnt from the experience.

We’ll continue to work hard.

We would also pay tribute to SGEventors. It’s been 7 years since its death. That was the time when we learnt the most. That was when we were younger, and I know, deep down inside, we hope to revive it. But we know it’s difficult know. We’re all in difficult continents now. Maybe one day, one day when Hoobastank hits their 20th year anniversary concert, we can do one big one for them.

Hi ma.

2010-07-30T00:38:00.006+08:00

This post is dedicated to mums. To those who have one. To those who's lost one. To those who has two. Or if you are one yourself.

Whatever your position is, you'll probably find a part of this post to relate to.

Sometimes, they're a pain in the ass. They nag non stop, their creative minds can conjure some cool shit beyond the mean of all our cool shit combined.

When we feel like it's her voice that fills the void, when her loud monotonous tone seems to be everything we can think of, it's a dread to eat at the same table as her.

It's tough to bring up the courage to carry a meaningful conversation with her. To tell her about your challenges at work. To share with her your deepest worries and fears.

As it seems that she's gone into another level of reality long ago. And it's almost impossible to connect to her.

We always feel that she's out of touch. Grasping on to the little past that she has. She's no longer living in the present, she's not looking into the future neither. The past seems more reasonable. It's her glorious past. It's the period where she has lived it high.

The dreams she had, the hope she has, she's given up on them anyway. As there's nothing much to look forward to. Not much time left.

Day in day out, she hold on to her daily chores, cleaning the house, watering the plants, routining her life.

She complains and whines. That she made certain wrong moves in the past. How she regret doing certain things.
Life flies by.

The children grow up eventually. Busy with their work, with their own lives. She continues to be strong. To show that she can survive the storms alone, at the same time harbouring some hope that somebody would care. That somebody will give a flying shit.

She has reasons in everything she does. It seems she's stuck in an infinite loop of guilt and responsibility. She's got her own selfish reason in wanting to keeping her children close to her side.

Imagine this : what's the hope that parents have when they decide to have children? For most of them, it's definitely not a night of uncontrollable passion or an accident. Nor was it to have a baby to play with. It doesn't end there.

They certainly hope that their children grow up good. To contribute to the world in a good way. And some parents hope that they would take care of them when they grow old.

This unconditional love, which a lot of girls seek and boys refuse to acknowledge, is only found by default in a parents children relationship.

Most of them try to juggle their best resources, to bring the best to their children, sacrificing comfort, postponing enjoyment with no returns of investment in mind.

Think : if you were an investment, how much would they have invested in you before you earn your first dollar. How much care, love, money, time, did they use? How much shit did they go through.

They might be weird, and we're all ashamed of our parents at one point of time or another. They do weird shit that other parents seemingly don't do. Secretly you just hope that you had different parents.

But wait. Ever thought how they too couldn't choose you? They did not have any choice too. Yet they loved you all the same. Though you're ugly, short and fat, they're not ashamed of you.

Yes we'll never land the doctor job they want us to, and we're doing some computer shit that is way past her. Ma, we're trying to conquer the world. But she is not looking for someone to do that. All she ways is someone to show some care and concern.

They don't have much years here left, and chances are, they sacrificed their best years making sure you grow up right.

Remember, love is not barter trade. It's not because someone gives you x amount of love, hence you return it.

Parents are special because you wont be here without them.

While you're trying to satisfy the world, and boosting your own ego, try thinking for a second - what are you doing to make your parents happy?

Next time you see an old grandmother pushing some carts filled with junk, just pray that you won't become that, and that your parents too.

Remember - you'll grow old too one day.

What have you done for your parents today ?

The Contract

2010-07-28T19:47:00.002+08:00

This is the beginning. This is Day 0. This is T=0. This is when all things have not become more complicated than expected. This was when you really wanted Iphone 4 or the latest HTC Android phone badly. So with no blood in your bloody head, you sign a 2 year contract. If Heaven permits, you’d sign a 10 years contract if iphone 4 is yours for free.

Oh and you convinced (read:MF) yourself to do it. It’s nothing. I get to recontract after 21 months anyway. WOW. That’s a THREE months discount !

Mid way, when iphone 4s appears, you cry baby and whine. But again, you manage to persuade(read:MF) yourself to upgrade.

2 years is a long time. For those of you who have gotten used to the 24 months commitment, it’s easy. Some have even gone 54 months before. But those were the days. When things were more confirmed. When people know what you’re up to. And there’s consolation. So what’s the deal you may ask.

The deal is signing up for 2 years for the sake of signing up is quite disheartening. It’s like, you have no choice but to serve the country, compared to a 2 years volunteer program. Of course, the mindset is different. The expectations too.

2 years is not long. It’s only 2 christmases. 2 Chinese New years. And of course, 2 labour days. And 2

birthdays. It’s already end of 2010.

2011 Christmas is coming soon. And when Xmas is there, CNY is also around the corner. And Labour day. Then moon cake festival. And then, here comes Christmas again. And then CNY creeps closely behind.

2012 is not far away. Co-incidentally the stupid movie is also 2012.

Godspeed, Alex.

The Virus

2010-07-17T01:45:00.000+08:00

"An idea, created from the mind, is more potent than a virus, more deadly than anything else in the world". I could relate this to why people are stubborn, refusing to change, to experience new things. This could also explain why some are prejudice against some others. It seems, that the mind, is complex, and yes, we might not able to understand how it functions, but we know its power and potential.

No Inception spoilers here. Just a little review :D We were strapped to our seats for 158 minutes from start to end. The story was damn good, and Christopher Nolan didn't disappoint. I watched Batman Returns and The Dark Knight about 5-6 times each, so I guess I better watch the Inception again soon. It's worth every cent.

Let's put it this way. We have not found the way to enter someone's dreams, and steal things from his/her subconscious, but the mass media came close. Everyday, we're influenced by what we see online, what we listen to on the radio, what was flashed before us when we were on the roads, the idiot box, etc. We're all suckers for cool things, only because of the marketing efforts of people behind the scenes, who knows how to manipulate the mind. They, in some ways, are creating ads to inject ideas into our subconscious.

And we seldom successfully explain our choices clearly, as we ourselves are not sure, why we make certain decisions. As you grow older, as you expose your brains to more environments, scenarios, cross roads, challenges, our minds begin to take shape. Some become weaker. Some strong beyond words.

We choose our own path, and we definitely choose what we want to see/hear. If you're still in your teenage years, congrats. You can't remember it, but almost half of you feel about the world, or the people in it, are the result of what you experienced in your childhood, of which you have little/no memory of. And whether you hate the world, or you can optimistically say that you can change the world, is also because of the memories you have, when you were young. Well, if you've passed your adolescence, then i too like to congratulate you. Now that you are over 21, you have the rights to your life, and you choose what you become. Then come the societal forces and peer pressure. What is cool as a job, which girl to date, what kind of lifestyle to lead. Well, the world is your oasis. Drink up, Scotty.

Back to the idea. It's another word for Mindf*ck(mf). It's been around since the beginning of time, but some people deny it. They insist that no, it's not right. Well, what is motivation. What is the so called nudge you give yourself when you wake up every morning to work. The 'you gotta wake up or you'll be late and if you do that enough times, you'll be fire' talk. People who are at the top of their games manage to not only mf themselves, but also the people around them, and in some cases, they manage to rally (mf) the whole nation to walk with them, to achieve something together. To make the people believe in their visions, what they believe in, and in their goals.

Just like how injecting an idea into someone's head is powerful, we can also say that you can do it to yourself. Given enough talking-to-self, inspirations and some cost-benefit analysis, you too can become a self-motivator to change things about yourself and others. It's equally important to not only be able to plant the idea into your head, but also to sustain it over a period of time.

It's a double edged sword, i guess. Just like how you can inject the right idea into your head, and make yourself fly towards the goal, you too can accidentally/unwillingly/subconsciously be injected the wrong idea. and there you go. That's it. You're in your own world, believing in the wrong idea, and when people nudge you, you feel so damn sure that you're right. That's when you are in danger.

Anyway, this month is pretty exciting. We are kick-starting a few projects, and wrapping up a few. We're all ready to start the development of the Android and iPhone application projects. And recently we just signed a project with the toilet bowl makers TOTO.. actually they don't only make toilet bowls, but they own some technologies in that area ( taps, urinals, shower heads etc ) We're going strong, and we're planning our next move. We're turning 1 next month, and we're going to celebrate it in Kuching ( co-incidentally also my birthday, and also Singapore's National Day 2010 ). Thank you for those who believed in us, thank you for those who act like you believed in us, and the biggest thanks for those who told us, that it won't work. You, gave us more motivation than ever, to prove your asses wrong. Alright, will keep all those congratulatory messages for an entry nearing the anniversary date. Lots of things to talk about. The experiences, the set backs, the ups and downs, the lefts and rights.

July is ending soon. August seemed like a holiday month for me, and September is worse, with 10 days away in Shanghai for Gary's wedding. July seemed like the only probable month to chiong. Godspeed.

Whatever you're doing, believe in yourself, but please - allow yourself some room to listen to others.

Some mean well.

May June July 2010 Update

2010-07-10T07:07:00.001+08:00

I stared at the blank canvas for 10 minutes, and then i gave up. Updates then.

Past few months have been challenging, forcing me to take on an identity, slightly nudging me beyond my typical comfort zone. Have been more consistent in clocking office hours, and trying to break new grounds in terms of levels of efficiency. We are currently pushing 11 projects simultaneously :

GKL, AGO, SGL, USF, ECOV, TEDx, TOTO, CANON, an Iphone app, an Android app, a fundings pitch

Most of the days I couldn't sleep lying in bed, letting the adrenaline rushing through my body. It's that bad or good depending which angle you're peeping from. And not forgetting the interviews we're doing too. We found talent along the way, the gems that keeps the engines running. Those that allow me to concentrate on what i'm suppose to do, and they, settle what they're empowered to. Those - I respect, and am thankful I found them. Retaining talent requires this balance between pushing them to the limit so that they get job satisfactions, make them comfortable to be part of this family, and rewarding those who are deserving.

It's been a month of turbulent world cup matches ( why would anyone think wc would be predictable anyway ) and even with all the hedging and seat belts buckled up, we are still in the deficit in the betting basket. The finals shall determine the final breakeven+profit or a deficit in the final figure. Godspeed. It's been fun, with all the daily analysis of the teams, past games, present forms, individual players' fitness, coaches' antics, the altitude. Well, brought back the memories with my childhood friend, that's for sure.

Sundays have been good. Addicted to the ice tea, and stand-ups lunches, and away from emails and all the noise for at least 2 hours. It's been very calming. The company has been great, some.

And so, Gary got married in May, and again in Sept ( thankfully to the same woman ) in Shanghai. Got our air tickets for Shanghai already. This trip, will bring back a lot of memories, though I have successfully blocked almost everything out, but I guess when we're there, immersed in it again, i'm sure they'll return. Excited to see progress, and changes in Shanghai. We know how things move there. It's been 2 years since we were there, and we swore we would be able to hear the NOC gang's laughter filling the Fu Shen Restaurant and the Zhong Shan Condo.

We practised hard for Gary's May Wedding, and also SHINE's youth festival which took place in Orchard last week. And we played our hearts out. To really create some fireworks, we gotta play more diligently, and jam at least twice a week. Wish us luck.

Printed out all the itineraries for 2010 and 2011, and pasted them all over the office's wall. And it's scary how many tickets I've bought. Anyway, we met Ascendas last week to discuss about the possibility of moving out of NUS. Not in the near future.. maybe next year.

When we discuss bonuses, perks and benefits, I feel like toggling the teleport button so that I can disappear from the table. When others bitch about their jobs, I feel like smacking them. Maybe cos I'm always with Damon the evergreen optimist who doesn't complain about his job, and Gary, who takes challenges for breakfast. Well, that's just me. Cos sometimes when people whine or complain, they have NO idea what the listeners' circumstances are, and well, talking is one thing, but I guess you have to put in more effort to relate and normalise the scale so that people around you dont feel like idiots when you talk about your 'low' 'bonus'. Well, this world is always short of some sensitivity and tact. Not that it matters anyway, cos after a night sleep, it's reset for me. and here I am typing a super duper long post.

We gotta figure what we want in life soon, so that we have enough time to realise the dream and sip wine on the sofa in the living room. There's not much time. Happiness is never eternal, joy never fills up the soul forever. Only fools think about happiness all the time. Quote unquote the bible I must say.

Anyway, the world cup has been tiring, it's as if we're all playing in the matches. Especially the 2.30 am matches. And I feel that we're looking at the '4 years once' thingy too seriously. I remember 4 years ago, in 2006, when I was sipping some cold drink eating some fruits, watching the wc alone back in Woodlands. And 2002, was with fy and clement. Somehow they woke up to watch too. And 1998, I believe I was with my good friend. And this World cup has been the worst so far, as there's so much external pressure in terms of how to react to fields' events. I'm really talking as if I played in em. "haha"

Poker was good too. Learnt it at Claudia's place during the BBQ and after that, I clicked on the Texas Hold'em FB application for the first time. Everyday I log on to play 10 hands, and there's much to learn from poker. Just like in any games in life, they reflect your thoughts about life. Ok maybe not so much in Poker. and it's so different playing online.

There's more shit happening, but well, things come and go, and there'll be more shit happening. So everyday, the mindset should be, shit's gonna happen anyway, so dont try to deflect it or be uber disappointed when they happen. Just take it with an open heart and it'll feel less shitty soon enough. That's when you just show the eat-shit-face and move on very quickly.

Somedays, I feel like disappearing into the jungle with ___. Fill in the blank.

Spin.

2010-06-22T01:43:00.001+08:00

End of the year,

i'll take 3 days off, //a challenge

away from the world in some faraway beach //out of the country

without any digital devices //mobile phones,cameras,laptops, the internet

and rest. //another challenge

Alone. //keyword

Mf.

2010-06-21T15:23:00.000+08:00

It's a touchy topic. the fine line between acting and adapting.

Looking sharp and acting sharp.

Life is indeed a stage, where we choose what characters to play, and what we want to be.

If you're poor, you have to move out of it, you have to tell the body to stop being poor, and work harder.

If you think you're not good in certain things, you try, and with the encouragements of others, you slowly become what you want to become.

But yet, there's so many of others who look at you and say that you're acting. and yet, they dont look at themselves. What defines acting ? We've been through this topic so many times.

We mf ourselves that we love our jobs. We mf ourselves that we love our parents. Because if not, you're not filial. because, if truly, if these ppl called parents are our friends, we would have left them long ago. Yet we love them, because they brought us up. and despite that we're shitty children, they still gave us. because they too dont have a choice to choose what kinda children to have. ok they did, when we were young, they had this huge opportunity to teach us, to lead by example. but talking is easy. they too have their own struggles and circumstances.

ok so it's about mf-ing yrself. what you want the world to see you as. And slowly, you lose yourself, for good. You become better.

Adapting is about acting in the beginning, mfing yourself to the max. say you're put into a very cold room. How do you adapt ? you tell your body that it'll be over soon. you mf yourself. you struggle, yet you dont whine. You try. You act that you're ok, hoping that your body will get used to it.

Who are you to judge who is acting ? for those who doesnt believe there's a god, it's difficult. You think all your achievements are all YOUR doing. You think you're so fucking smart. i feel sorry for you.

**mf = mindfuck

Welcome to the Mickey Mouse club.

2010-06-04T11:19:00.001+08:00

Recently, someone asked me what were my priorities in life. And I was to select six pictures which were suppose to depict these priorities. Six images appeared in my head. And I was in this 2 hours discussion about them.

I learnt a little about myself when I was cracking my head answering the questions. Fundamentals were challenged, doubts revisited, believes shaken, minute details surfaced, causing me to break out of my traditional way of thinking. Forcing me to rate priorities. Putting a number on each of them.

After jumping onto the TED talks bandwagons, I was amazed by how some people dedicate their whole life to travelling the world, risking their lives, to do a research on issues like slavery, terrorism etc. As the world gets more connected, we believe we can do anything. Some of us choose to think we can be rich and famous, because it’s happened to so many of ‘ordinary’ folks out there.

But it’s not as simple as that. Read further. Then you’ll realize that you, lack a lot of things compared to those 28 year old millionaires. You don’t have a garage, you don’t have a vibrant environment to support you, you don’t have powerful family members who have links with politicians, you don’t have a heap of gold at home for you to mine for you to support your venture, basically you lack the whole eco system. And you try and try, but it’s just not working out. Doesn’t help that your friends are moving forward in their careers.

Usually, I do ponder a bit when I grew bored observing people on the beloved public transport. While analyzing them, what phase of life are they at, what THEIR priorities are, who are their loved ones, how do they treat their loved ones, who are they ? Cos you can tell a lot by listening to others on the phone, what they put on their hair, how they carry themselves. Though it’s not 100% accurate, I believe in the art of reading into people’s mind during the first 5 minutes of our conversation.

Back to the topic, for most of us, the current is against us. While most of the friends are reaping instant gratification, we’re building something bigger, and there’s no gain without sacrifice.

And the 6 pictures, if you have not figured, it’s a few broad categories. Mickey mouse represents the childhood, the carefree times when we just watch cartoon everyday and think of the next ice-cream. The BMW is a vehicle that says “hey im somewhat successful, so get the hell out of the way”. It’s also a not-so-quiet way of telling others that you have acquired some status in life, and they should trust you, or not. Well, for now, let’s blame the mass media for injecting the ideas into my head. The private jet says, Budget Jetstar just doesn’t cut it anymore, and I have so many meetings in so many countries, do bring your passport along so that we can have one in-flight.

Photoshop has been in my life in 2000. In the sorta interview, I was asked about this special program in my life. And I talked about her as if she’s my special one. In the beginning, I saw someone else with her, and he was enjoying her. Doing all sorts of things with her. He’s obviously very talented and can use her in ways unimaginable. For hours, I sat next to them and watched. I couldn’t stop watching. And I asked him to teach me. And from that day on, my life has been colourful. It has been filled with love, joy, and obviously, dough. I have been freelancing since, and yes, Photoshop has always been there to support me. Though sometimes she throws tantrums and crashes on me, she knows best. I know her every buttons, the shortcuts to every function, and it’s because of this girl that has made me proficient in what I’m doing. I dream with my active workspace sometimes. Though I know her in and out, I feel there’s still so much things I can do with her. Her infinite potential, capabilities blow my mind sometimes. And without her, I’ll die. That’s the relationship I have with her. Other than that, I too share her with my friends, and I have taught a lot of friends her secrets. and they too love her. :)

The beam of light – represents the spiritual side which has been missing in my life. It’s somehow disappeared. But I know it need it. We all humans need to satisfy the needs of the spirit. We’ll see.

The camera – no, not a dslr, but any. A phone camera takes crappy picture, its slow shutter has a certain way of making me piss in my pants, but those candid moments which were captured, when viewed on the computer, give a different feeling altogether. It has an impromptu feeling to it. I like that. Moments – can only be captured and frozen with a recording device. Imagine our grandparents’ times, when all they can do to tell a story to their grandchildren, is just talk. I want to be able to tell mine – with a picture. A photo tells more than you can ever do with words. Words are always limited by vocabularies and the languages have limits. But not in colours and motion. The camera is like my oxygen tank when I dive.

While we are all struggling to find the equilibrium in life, remember, have a bit of humility and humour. Don’t take life too seriously. These moments always pass, like they always do. And success or failure, treat them all the same.

Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) by Florence & The Machine

Resource.

2010-05-26T18:25:00.000+08:00

You can do anything, but not everything.

1 2 3+Jump !

2010-05-25T01:37:00.000+08:00

The Finishing Line

2010-05-12T01:13:00.006+08:00

At the end of it all, how many of em will still be standing with you?
At the end of the marathon, who'll be cheering for you? Strangers? Or family and friends whom you love most?
Most importantly, along the way, who is there for you? The so called 'emotional support' which we've always joked in giving our friends when they face challenges, and they have to embark on em alone. Nah. Don't count on em.
Why does Greenday sing:
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me, My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,'Til then I walk alone

Cos they dont understand. Even if they did, they wont appreciate. Or they dont agree. Wells.
The finishing line? Far from it. We can't even see it yet. But we are taking huge strides now. And we found support from strangers. From new made friends. Sometimes from this "God". Strangers who give you encouragements are priceless. It doesnt even matter if it's from the hearts. It moves you forward, it makes you feel like somebody else in the world actually gives a flying fuck. It's a complicated feeling, if you choose to analyse it. Or you could just chuck it aside and move on.

The robot executes the codes line by line. Constrains are the only Gods. It'll stop at nothing, knows no loops, knows no mundane tasks. It executes each line with the same amount of tenacity, the same attitude if you may, and it has no hesitation, no procrastination. It's simpler when you're the only constrain. When the world hinges upon your decisions, and you're the mechanical brain, it's easy. You remove yourself out of the picture.

Robots, rise. Feelings? What feelings?

In the Oven : Posters for wedding, EDM's for Shine Youth Festival, Unclesamfang.com, Singaporecanspeak.com update, sglearner.com, and some edms for 3DNetworks, Andrew Goh's webby, some updates for ecoverve.com.sg, and some other random jobs from some Japanese company.
// ∞

Do you take the lift?

2010-05-10T02:18:00.007+08:00

The lifts run 24hours, and they’re probably one of the most hardworking mechanical/electrical unit in Singapore. If that’s not bad enough, they are still being abused everyday despite fake CCTV threats/fine notices being pasted on the walls. Well, occasionally beloved passengers quench their thirst by feeding them pee or curry on the floor. Some try to push it by lighting one up in the lifts.

One thing which you would/would not have observed is that the lifts have been programmed to move to a ‘sweet-spot’ position, usually on the higher level. Usually after 9 or 10pm ( Im not sure ), it’ll automatically move to level 7 ( my block has 11 accessible floors ), regardless of where the last passenger jumped off. They must have did some kind of research ( I hope ), garnered some kind of data, to prove that at night there’re a lot of residents who’re coming home, and they ride up, and then the lift’s optimal position, is at level 7. Which makes it easier ( less energy, duh ) to slide down, and pick the next passenger up to higher levels, and then it’ll go back to level 7.

Currently there’s only two settings ( I believe ), 7pm – 7am, and 7am – 7pm. And during the day, they just turn off the above algorithm.

This phenomenon is obviously the clever implementation of the electrical engineers, to try to conserve.

Well, in 30 seconds, I just thought of a few solutions which hopefully can save more electricity.

Now. Let’s look at the bigger picture, and you’ll see how my idea works. There’re a fixed amount of residents for every block. There are 3 lift services servicing these 600 or so residents ( 11 floors x 10 homes x 4, plus minus 3 per home ) . They all have a pattern which can be learnt, and if we can collect the data of their lifts usage, we would have a higher ability to predict the lifts’ location. Weekends are bitchier, if you observed enough, relatives turn up on weird timings, but everyday, you get almost a predictable cycle. Well, if everyday is different, could we do a weekly cycle? That means everyday, we know that half the people use the lifts to go down, so almost all the trips upwards go to waste. How do we tackle this?

Could we install some kinda device to kinetically charges the lifts batteries when they slide down? We’re talking about installing the same kinda batteries for cars, onto lifts. Greenlifts.

In the mornings, everybody is rushing to work. But what about freaking lift pooling ? Wait for a full load before it goes down ? This is the solution to compensate the empty upward rides. Since the mornings, the lifts are just working NONSTOP. Mornings meaning 7-8am +-1 hour

Well, a lot of you might be thinking, you freaking purchased your home, and now you need to lift pool ? What? Think about it. You buy things from the supermarket, and it has been so common for them to give out plastic bags to you. But you accept it anyway. Im sure you can wait for 1 or 2 minutes before taking the lift. We don’t turn on the aircons even though it’s freaking warm. Obviously this go green thingy takes out some of our comfort. But it’s worth it ( I hope )

And for the nights, they should just shut down one of the lifts, and just use the other two. Or shut down the other two.

And use only one. And why are the lights are not MOTION ACTIVATED YET !? The sensor costs about $1 +- 0.35 and prolly almost brainless to be installed. It’s just flip flop switches. Come on. Why bother installing them at high end condos only, when it’s all the other HDB’s that are sucking up the electricity, right?

I’m not going to tell you why you should reuse reduce recycle. Go figure.

P Before printing, please think about the environment.

30% intelligence x 70% hardwork = Success !

2010-04-19T01:17:00.004+08:00

The relationships we built with living things around us, can be very intriguing.

Take my relationship with the mid aged couple who sells chicken/duck rice downstairs. We could have had a very professional relationship, meaning we have our transaction everytime, and we do not necessarily be friendly to each other. We need each other just as much, and it’s not like I have other choices. For some reasons, I think they like me, and yes, sentimental as I can be, I do enjoy observing the relationship dynamics between a man and a woman, whose age would add up to >100. I will never know their names, as I will never feel that I have the status to ask for them. But I feel like they know me, and they calling me 小弟 is affectionate by nature.

They don’t talk to each other much, the man knows what he’s doing, sometimes the woman takes over. Yet they do not comment on each others’ way of cutting the chicken/duck, or anything, though I can feel the difference. They know I love the bones, and they no longer ask which part when I order. They are friendly people, they do not bicker with each other, speak Cantonese and Hokkien, and Mandarin. There’s affinity when you speak dialects. Doesn’t matter if you know only a few words, they assume you know more. But using dialects would make them happier, and that would translate to a bigger portion / more love when cutting the meat.

Things changed last month when I did not want to gain anymore weight, and also, last week when I decided to try going vegetarian. When I saw them downstairs, I turned away, because I felt paiseh that I have not bought from them anymore. Instead of business transactions, we transact smiles and hellos. Just like what I do with a lot of other people. We are drifting apart I guess. God has put me in this position in life, to experience and absorb all this. We call this humanity.

Take another example, my relationship with my neighbor. I do not know his name, I talked to him less than 20 times. I borrowed his Allen Key when I was finetuning my electric guitar, his phone to call Dee when I was stranded outside my house, without my keys, my phone went dead, and my housemates were nt reaching anytime soon. We say hi whenever we meet at the corridor. Whether we have had dinner. That’s it. That’s all to it.

The relationship was not built upon anything, other than our thin slicing of each other, within the first few minutes of the time we first met. Assumptions, judgements, prejudice, a certain impression shapes up when we meet new people. All those generalizations kick in, we hate we love we despise, naturally.

Trust is a big word, built with small acts, but a gentle breeze could rock its solid foundation if we’re not too careful.

The journey to the south continued with cock ups, highs and downs, more time management issues, long term strategies, new office adaptation, and other stuffs.

The old wither and die, the new breathe in a new voice, a new mind, and conjure up new exciting ideas. We moved from milestones to milestones while pushing aside obstacles, and covering ourselves with wet blankets ppl generously threw at us, but they do protect us from the glaring eyes of the lazy. The heavy wet blankets ppl throw at us, we took it as encouragement, we took it as motivation, and we do not once, asked them to screw themselves. We seen them as a contant reminder to ourselves, that there are people waiting for us to fail, likewise, there are friends who are ready to pop the champagne to celebrate small milestones.

Sometimes we lose ourselves when we are drifting, trying to maneuver the difficult corners of projects, but we’re not going to commit that mistake again. While trying to stay afloat, we also look further, for sources of inspirations, and to see if there’s a permanent island we can cling on more permanently.

There’ll be times when we’re at the eye of the storm and we can feel the peace and calmness, not knowing what’ll hit us next, while there were other times when the boat was rocking so violently we thought we’ll be going overboard anytime.

One quarter has passed for 2010. We are already tackling the 2nd quarter. Before long, we’re closing the 2nd one as well. We have to be continue being hungry and move very quickly.

The world will not wait for us. Not anymore.

Vision 2020

2010-03-28T12:15:00.003+08:00

As we move forward, we found a caravan. The conventional way to begin the auspicious journey, was to try to acquire a vehicle first, but we didn’t. Instead, we did it by foot, for the past 9 months, and some part of our feet got burnt. But now, the owners of the caravans offered us one, after seeing our feet, knowing we’re serious about it. Knowing we have followers. Therefore the process was painless, swift and we look forward to moving in.

Along the way, there have been people throwing twigs and stones at us, saying there were tigers in the woods, and that we should give it up. They cited a few stories where trekkers and explorers went in, and never came out. Some came back alone. Best friends came back being enemies. Some came back naked, losing their clothes, dignity and other what nots.

Well, in the beginning we were all sponsored with torchlights, enough food to last the infant stages of the expedition, and lots of lip service. We were grateful, from the heart. But while we were fighting dragons and draught, some of these sponsors decided to pull out. They started to lose confidence in us, saying that we didn’t really have what it took, and we needed ‘experience’. They wanted us to go join other expeditions first, before doing it all by ourselves.

There was no right or wrong. We all had different dreams. Some of us had taller ones. Who were we to judge? A lot of great dreams started sounding absurd and impossible. They seemed so far out in the beginning. The general public did not know what they want nor need. The Ipod was such a “I could have thought of that too” idea. “Let’s create an all white, simple to the bones device, and pair it with very cool advertisements.” And Steve Jobs managed to pull it off. Let there be no mistakes about the existence of bad products by a great and respectable company such as Apple. Google too, a multi-million company, pull the plug for some of its cloud services. Millions of dollars were poured into twitter while they find a way to make it profitable. During the beginning of their start ups, I believe these companies too wonder if they have what it takes, and the people around them would have told them they were crazy. yes. crazy.

Expedition, the word itself is a big journey, to achieve the hopes and dreams. The dream to reach the destination, scathed or otherwise, is the only motivation we have. Some great expeditions last a lifetime. It’s fantastic that not everyone is a climber, or the mountains would be filled with climbers, and then, who would be helping us manning the stations, be our emergency contact at the basecamp. There’s gotta be a balance between those who climb, and those who help em climb.

So this world is divided into 2 groups. Those visionaries who saw the tip of the mountain, or the cant even see it, as it was so high the clouds block em all them time, but they still want to go, for they know there’s a peak somewhere. And there are those who help these visionaries’ dreams come true. They saw the mountain and said, hey, it’s too high for me, it’s too risky, and I’m afraid. We would follow u, and help you instead.

Updates updates updates. Let me see. It’s been a month since we updated this blog. And a lot of things in our lives have changed. We met this fantastic young lady at a petrol kiosks, and great things happened. Hopefully if all things go well, we’ll be meeting at a petrol kiosk again. If fate permits that is.

We now have a little caravan, soon to be delivered to us in April, and thereafter, we would be able to carry more people, instead of asking them to walk with us. As we have mentioned before, we were so grateful with this that we celebrated at Carl’s Jr. haha. There were much things to celebrate this March. There were the contracts, the permanent job offer, the caravan, the almost storybook like beautiful collision between the boy from Ipoh & a girl in Perth in Singapore, the new motivations, the wedding, the reinforced friendships, the constant jamming sessions, the super addiction to yummy vegetarian food at Engin.

That being said, shit happened as well. A little reshuffling on the expedition team. It’s not a fall out, and it’s mutual I guess. The extra weight gained. The crazy sleeping hours. The misunderstandings. The prejudice. Oh well, what’s new. I have learnt to get over it.

Choice of songs in the ipod have changed. The ipod has been swapped. From the fanciful Touch, to the much meaner and lighter Shuffle. I loop songs all the time. Therefore I have only 3 songs in the Shuffle. I believe Ding needs the Touch more than I do. The Shuffle – you can run with it, it’s so freaking light! And putting it in your tight jeans is no problem as well.

2020 seemed so far away when we were much younger. Back in the 90’s. But now, it’s a blink of an eye away. Ok 2 blinks. 10 years from now, it would be 2020. I remember Malaysia has a vision of 2020. Let me google it and copy some of its visions. Oh it’s here. http://www.wawasan2020.com/vision/ And since the people around us have been relentlessly asking us about the future, we gave it a thought. And the thought was transformed into a mind map. And to achieve some of the things by 2020, I would have start to move NOW.

If we were to liken this journey to the south, to be a memorable and unforgivable expedition, then this is just the beginning. And in every beginning, we learn by falling. We learn by banging our heads in the walls, which are so obvious, on hindsight. They were there, yet we said, let’s do it, because we didn’t have a choice. The course of actions based on the current scenarios, caused us to sacrifice a little bit of our comfort, our freedom, our friendships, and sometimes, unfortunately, our values. The teething problems will always be there. Be it a new car, a new house, a new relationship, a new job. If you do not have the patience and grace to overcome the teething problem, then I don’t think you deserve the end results.

hungrygowhere.com's bosses decided to start hungrygowhere.com when they were already beginning to get comfortable with their full time jobs. When they were about to get the promotions. And I can totally understand what their parents, spouses and friends said when they decided to do that.

The Reunion

2010-02-13T11:00:00.004+08:00

The Reunion

And so, while battling the dragons and flying cows, we continued our journey, towards South, the land where pork tastes like chicken, and lamb tastes like beef. Where there’s no war nor poverty. Neither was there any natural disasters that wiped out entire coastal villages.

But one thing seemed unstoppable. Petty theft. It seemed supermarkets around this area had always been trying ( read : Never did anything substantial )to curb this problem. It was estimated that 5-10% of revenue was lost each year due to this crime. What’s supermarket petty theft? Well, they include opening packets of biscuits for your own sampling session, stuffing more oranges into one bag, swapping of price tags. Yes, the invention of barcode scanning seemed to have eliminated most of these, assuming the cashiers were well trained ( and conscious ) to check that when you scanned a tray of 12 eggs, the product was indeed that, and not a carton of 100 eggs.

We believe the scare tactic which the sacred land uses, pasting the “they’re watching you” sticker at strategic locations help. And of course, the old housewives who knew that you would not be able to do anything with her even if you were able to catch them in the act, were the problem makers.

Imagine us running a supermart, and you face all these. Somehow, they found a reason to do it. We creatures are very good at that. Finding excuses. Excuses are just bad reasons it seemed? Hmm. We somehow always find a way to m-f ourselves, to do what we like, not what’s right.

We were just debating about work ethics. For example, a lawyer would need to fight for the client, whether justice is served or not. A doctor, would not be able to save a poor patient, if the hospital policy needed to confirm that the patient could afford treatment. We were also talking about our conscience, how we tried ( read : Never did enough ) to reduce the usage of plastic bags, but somehow, couldn’t sacrifice personal comfort for mother earth.

We were also questioning ourselves about the need to have a Chinese new year reunion dinner at one point time. What have we become? But we were superstitious as hell. In the midst of all the contradictory confusion, we have become so illogical that personally, I have drifted off to a world of my own. One which was filled with yellow dragons and flying beefs. It’s too tiring to fight it anyway – it’s illogical, it’s irrational, it’s plain blabbering crap.

We don’t see a point in engaging each other in quality conversations anymore. It seemed that the problem always lied with ‘the world’ at large. The ‘oh-so-wicked’ neighbours. The government. The relatives. The dead. The long forgotten ones, who were still alive. Never was there a point in time when we stopped, and reflected in the perfect mirrors. The ego was too huge, the self-defence mechanism too strong.

The apples have fallen a tad too far from the trees. “They” don’t understand. “They” are too demanding. Too judgmental. It’s too ‘late’ to do anything now. We have heard these over and over again. And boy it was tiring. Seemed to have drained our energy oh so quickly, all these. Depression couldn’t be cured from the outside world. The ability to cry at the snap of the finger showed that there were ongoing stuggles deep within, which surfaced whenever necessary. They couldn’t be resolved, couldn’t be won. Some were buried with the dead, while the world seemed to continue to turn.

Considering the world, there were 30% who were depression addicts. 30% who just jumped onto the depression bandwagon. Another 30% who were trying ( read : Not doing anything at all ) to jump. And the last 10%, were those who tried to help others, normal, and tried to make a decent living with a mundane day-to-day boring job.

Last night, we were dreaming the whole night, or at least that was what it felt like. Read somewhere that dreams which felt as though they went on for hours, actually only took place for 5-10 minutes. Anyway, last night, I had a fantastic idea, supposedly, when I was talking to my dad. No he didn’t spark or inject the idea into me, but rather he just happened to be there when the idea miraculously struck me. And then I was so excited about this idea, that I was immediately doing an elevator pitch, to some woman in NUS enterprise. No, she’s just not any woman, but some high authority there…

We woke up with a BAM and I thought, this is a freaking good idea. But after I freshened up, and all, we realize that it be a good idea if we were working for somehow else, and not in a start up. GG

Anyway, now I understand why so many people decided to just disappear ( in my family at least ), to hide away from all the draining social struggles of the supposedly close ones.

Have a great Chinese New Year 2010. This is going to be a farking good year.

The World behind our Walls

2010-02-01T18:20:00.002+08:00

We continued to travel south. And there were so many of us. Diversified backgrounds, extreme age gaps, exciting hobbies, and big dreams. We were so excited to do something for the nation. For something bigger than ourselves. For something more meaningful than our usual weekend digital blabbering sessions. Their passion and desire to accomplish something so great, enlightened me. For once, I thought, perhaps the world is not dying. There’s hope.

As we settled down in a room full of strangers, we were nervous, yet curious at the same time. The judgements set in. The evaluation of the human being next to us. The first cut. Take one. The perception, prejudice grew immediately. And then we started to dig for more information. Trying to probe to souls around us for answers. Why were they here? Where did they come from? Where were they heading ?

In this newly formed group, which would be named Zzz Monsters, we had a variety of people, whose age ranged from 15 to 25. They were all here for one purpose, to be evaluated by the Gods and the Gods would decide if we would be selected for the events, or not. We were all nervous. Have they begun the tests? Nobody knew.

Fate have always brought fantastic people to us. This time, we met a fantastic young man who’s in a startup, like us! What luck, right? To meet another fellow entrepreneur in a place like this? We clicked immediately, right from the start. We shared experiences, the pain, the challenges, the hope, the fear, and of course, the dreams. When we talked, he nodded, and went Yes yes yes. When he talked, we went em hmm em hmm em hmm! And his office is 5 minutes away from ours! Fantastico!

And then, there was this guy who was studying Vet in TP. Vet Technical I think. He was wearing this shirt from Uniqlo. 4 ways to throw a Poke ball. And we stuck together. His jokes were punch lines which will made me laugh. When we did anything, he would ask – Are you 100% committed to doing that?, in the most sheepish way. Lol.

In this team, we fought hard. The tug of war for example. I chose to believe all the teams had very similar average strength in total. Therefore it was not about the physical power. And most of our palms were not seasoned to the rough ropes. We only had 4 guys in our team. But we won 3 times. We lost about 6 times. It wasn’t easy. There was a group with only 8 members, and they too won 3 times. The trick was to hold on to the rope as long as you can, and then when you felt that the other team was becoming bean curds with constipates faces, you give it a final tug. And that’s it. The 12 inches, that was all that mattered. Here, we learnt the word – Perseverance. You only learned the word when you gave up, and, somehow, you found strength within you, somehow, you decided, you could not disappoint your team mates, you needed to prove to them that we all could do something if we persevered.

In a single day, we talked at least 15,000 times. My voice and I. And the body reacts to it. The body listens tentatively, and changes its form according to the needs. It felt better when the other team who was pulling, had more girls than boys. It almost felt like I had additional strengths, when my voice started to tell me that they’re bean curds. It felt even better when you started making up stories in your head. The voice is now a storyteller. He started saying nasty things about the other teams. When the body was about to give up, the mind intercepted and terminate the ‘feeling’. There are no emotions involved here. You do it or not. It’s whether you WANT to put in your 100% or not. What’s stopping you? What excuses do you have, pussy?

This group of boys and girls – Sarab, Royston, Istilah, Shanis, Shanice, Charmaine, Linda, Nicolette, Lee Yen, Jasmine, Ben, Tiao Kien, Garry, have pushed beyond their comfort zone last weekend. Most have learnt more about themselves, some have gritted their teeth, clenched their fists, and step up. When the opportunity to step up surfaced, they grabbed it, and cherished it. They have not succumbed to fear, and yet, they have pushed each other above their usual standards. We were glad that we had each other. Bright future ahead for them!

After the brief camp, we continued our journey South, to find the treasure, so that we can write another fairy tale when we’re back in the North. To tell tales nobody has heard before. To share our experiences to those who have only dreamt of doing what we did.

The pain never lie.

The Adventure

2010-01-26T20:23:00.005+08:00

And so, we finally found time to travel south, to smell the southern ridges, to taste some of the almost fable-like exquisite delicacies and cuisines, found only in the, well, south. Those who came back alive mentioned that it was almost so good, that it’s worth dying for. We heard that the tribesmen from the south have jokes which would make you laugh so hard you’d puke last night’s supper. And of course, the legendary swordsmen who could slice your pancreas out in a perfect shape, and the best thing is, you’d feel no pain. That - we had to see.

We would do a thorough check up on the jeep which we were going to use, to our best knowledge, that it would not let us down. You see, we trusted this vehicle. He is more than just a vehicle to us. He’s family. Yes, family. Apart from breaking down several times in the city which he hates, he almost never gave up in the wilderness. When it came to crossing the river, when it came to negotiating with sharp uneven rocks, its 4WD system would have outperformed other pussies in the same class, anytime. The deep growling of the exhaust system always subtly hinted that he was hungry to digest some mud for lunch.

This adventure had been on our diaries for years now. We’ve always bitched about how busy we are, and how the world seems to be sucking the energy and time out of us like how my grandmother used to suck her old hut with the Akira Vacuum cleaner. It’s shitty, she’d say. We seemed to be addicted to the internet, this wild creature which would rob us of sanity, and of course, time, whenever we allow it to. That, was not family. There is just so much garbage online, begging for your attention, threatening our sleeping hours, each day. Day in day out, everybody seems to be busy developing some crap, posting in online, hoping that it’d catch fire, praying that it’d be the next big thing. Nowadays, it’s so dirt cheap for anyone to have a voice on the internet. To be part of a symphony is another matter altogether.

Anyway, we brought our musical instruments, we say, just in case we got bored, or whenever we had moments of weak emotional breakthroughs. And our mini amplifiers, to be powered by our huge ass dry battery. The drums, the bass, and 2 guitars. And 2 pails of mini effects pedals and what nots. So whenever we had a tune playing in our heads, we stopped, we would jam right there and then.

Usually we would brush our teeth at one of the many petrol kiosks. Sometimes we wonder how they actually manufactured toothbrushes. How did they actually stick the little soft fine transparent fibres to the main body of the tooth brush? Other times, we used Zact, and wonder if we’d die using it too often, while pursuing whiter teeth. And what would they say at our individual eulogies. Or would we have just one combined one. “They were good men, but they were weak,” some might have proclaimed. But they didn’t know us. They never would have a chance to see the world behind these walls.

NYC CCM Camp ✓ Greenday concert ✓ Programming Team ✓

2010-01-18T01:08:00.002+08:00

NYC CampusChangemaker Camp ✓

How many times have you heard of your friends saying, I want to volunteer, and they continue talking about it for the next 5 years, doing nothing, citing reasons like they have no time, or no avenue, don’t know how.. So I have been talking about for the LAST 5 years, and I finally did it, when I met Hui yi! ( gary’s brother’s girlfriend ). When you meet someone so enthusiastic like her, you feel like a piece of shit full of lame excuses when you don’t do something. After marking the event on my Google Calendar about a month ago, it has finally come true !

I guess I love to work with young minds, influencing them, and shaping their ambitions and of course, to guide them into the right path. I guess I could be a teacher if Hoovix fails. GG.

There’s just so much to write. The kids were from schools all over Singapore. I think about 150 of them. I was assigned to facilitate Group 4. We were all ‘stranded’ in Sarimbun Scout Camp, off Lim Chu Kang. The obstacles course, big red ants, thin mosquitoes, grass and the morning dew etc reminded me of the days when I attended a scout camp when I was young-er. Lol. Anyways, the camp was a blast.

I love the way the kids are so innocent. And you’re sure they’re not acting. It was a fair trade during 3 days-2 nights camp, where I absorbed their aura, energy, and innocence, and they took my advice and knowledge. Fair game. At the end of the day, the experience is like running a marathon. You won’t know how it feels like till you completed it. Like I have not known what it feels like to complete a marathon. I have finished a 10km once, but that was long time ago, and I have forgotten the feeling.

And of course, the fellow facilitators there. Sometimes you wonder what’s driving these people. Other times you just steal their aura as well. The complicated world suddenly shrunk to become a camp filled with 150 pre-adolescent kids with 20 facilitators. No internet, no outsider, no interference. Just that. And the game becomes very simple. Motivate them. Teach them. Make them happy. Most of the time, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Your facial expressions are crucial. They study it as if it’s a chemistry book filled with equations.

So what’s the selfish reason why I’m volunteering for the camp? Firstly, like I said, I want to refresh my perspective of life. Repriotise. When you talk to the kids, their worlds are not complicated. Really. And of course, when you converse with them, you learn a lot of stuffs from them. Keep yourself updated with the newest Gaga song for example. They went crazy over ‘Bad Romance’ which I swore, I never heard of that song before. I’m not a dork. I have Paparazzi and Poker Face and most of the new songs which are playing on the radio. But somehow I missed ‘Bad Romance’. Haha.

It’s sort of my way of escaping away from the world. A break. You want a break? Without spending a dime? Volunteer here. Get in touch with nature again. Get beaten by those army ants and attacked by 20 mosquitoes when you’re naked in the bathroom, the irriration will remind you that mother nature can be very powerful. And ya, I forgot to bring my mosquito repellent. Breathe the clean unpolluted air ( I choose to think so, at least ).Eat less for your meals. Run around the whole day with the kids. Lose some weight. Get a nice tan. You don’t get that elsewhere. Other than a few phone calls with Gary regarding Hoovix, I didn’t contact the outside world at all. And it was a good break from the computer as well. And I learnt how to play bridge, I think. And I realize I am really good at Daidi. Haha.

When I reached home this afternoon, the kids' voices and yells were still screaming in my head. I kid you not. I have even more respect for teachers now.

‘I can confirm you’ that I’ll be there at the next camp. In March I think. RG.

Greenday concert ✓

I have only attended a few concerts in my life. My previous start up helped organise the Hoobastank concert back in 04, at the Siloso Beach. And of course we were there when they rocked the sand. Not bad, but it was small. And then LMF was in Dec 09. Even smaller. At Powerhouse. And then. Singapore decided to let Greenday here. That’s when they test the strength of the concrete at the Singapore Indoor Stadium with their punk music and emo solo encore. Our $128 was worth EVERY $. Their shows were always playful and edgy. This one is no exception. With the drunk bunny, saxophone, changing wallpapers, lots of spyrotechnics effects, and with 21 years of performance experience, of course it was mindblowing.

And we attended the concert with all our own band members. Attic Tractor that is. But Malcolm couldn’t make it because of his work commitment. I think we are inspired to play better as a band. And also really made me to think if I should take up the keyboard. For real. Maybe during the second quarter of 2010.

What’s the amazing thing about the concert ? You see everybody with in a very big range of age groups. You see angmohs bringing their wives, mid-30’s. Young punks. You see punk wanna-be’s like us. Haha. And most of them jam in their own bands themselves. (they were holding up their picks haha)

∞ ✓

Hoovix has been blessed with 3 very talented programmers who will be embarking on a journey together. Our first big meeting will be on Tuesday. All the preparatory work is ready, and Gary and I will briefing them about the expectations etc. And I’m meeting another guy tomorrow. Godspeed.

Reflections ✓

2 weeks of 2010 dissolved into blips of memories in our heads. The strikes on the calendar are now easily noticeable from the corner of my eyes. Some of the events in 2009 has been locked in the vault, but like smoke in a burning room, sometimes inevitably they escape it when triggered by other events.

When I blue-tacked the first 2 quarters of 2010 to the wall back in 2009, I wanted to remind myself that there’s not much time left. And a constant reminder like that pushes you to take action all the time.

GG ✓

What gives ?

2010-01-09T21:16:00.003+08:00

Scenario #1

Boy meets girl. Girl doesn’t notice boy. Boy with another girl. Boy breaks up with the other girl. Boy likes girl. Boy pursuit. Girl rejects. Boy waits. Boy pursuits again. Girl Rejects. Boy moves on. // a real story of courage and rejection. If you try and try again, you’re bound to succeed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfW5eWntoPE

Or is it? Though seldom, we do heard of stories where antagonists fail. Nowadays you don’t get those storylines on the big screen anymore. Cos the world needs some hope. And it’s all crappy entertainment anyway. So feeling good is the thing. Therefore, please take whatever you watch with a pinch of salt. I’d also remind you that those boys and girls who appear on magazines HAVE BEEN DIGITALLY ENHANCED. DUH. http://scitech.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/24/french-politicians-want-photoshop-warning/ Oh the conclusion is that never believe what you see. Even your dad might not be your real dad. Don’t bother finding out. You don’t really wanna know.

Scenario #2

Boy meets girl. Boy pursuits. Girl rejects. Boy moves on. // Have always wondered. So if he moves on immediately, does that mean he’s not even THAT serious in the first place ? Should he wait? But what is he waiting for? Hmm. Weird. Of course situations change. People change. And ultimately, decisions change. Just like Windows 7, it was released under pressure and cumulative hate of everybody. So anything can change. We do give 2nd chances. If he waits, he’ll be in Scenario #6.

I remember when we were booting up Windows 98. Windows Millennium(ME) were crashing faster than you can smell the name. To me, I think Vista and ME were Windows biggest flops. Ha. I was booting up Windows 2000 professional for a long long time. Even when XP was out. Cos win2k was very stable. Windows Media Edition(WME) was equally crappy. All sorts of games just crashed and Gfx cards were not supported 100%. And then I was pushed to the mystical word of the Macintosh! I felt like an idiot in the beginning. But after a few hours, I was addicted to it. I will be installing Windows 7 soon. Moral of the story? Shit. What’s the moral of the story.

Scenario #3

Boy meets girl. Girl pursuits. Boy rejects. Girl moves on. // It’s a fair world. Both sexes have almost the same amount of say in relationships. Heard of those stories as well. Cool. But of course the social norm is that the guy must make the move. But since the girls have been fighting for equal sex, then why not they too can ask the boys out? And sometimes they're stronger than the guys. God gave them stronger pelvic bones to house the babies, and of course their mental strengths are of course higher than guys! But again, we men are not bad ourselves. We were cowboys and goldsmiths. Just that when were growing up, we listened to gay boy bands and turned too emotional. Blame it on them. Yes. But we're moving away from those. Just when we thought we are free from them and start listening to more 'men' who shoot each other or got shot, and turn their neighbourhood gangsta stories into lyrics.. the gay bands resurface.http://www.backstreetboys.com/events/ -_-

Scenario #4

Boy meets girl. Both fall in love with each other. Wow. They live happily ever after in the pond. Did I mention they are frogs? // I have seen a couple like this one. Have been together since secondary school and they have 4 wonderful kids now. I have seen their ups and down. It’s always said that we don’t see other’s families problems. But we see their problems. Financially. External factors. You name it. You can call it a struggle. But everybody is trying. You see other people seemingly surfing though life, but that’s cause you don’t see their trouble. Top businessmen too have to worry about something. There’s always the next step. Which takes courage. Efforts. Risks. The rich who seem to have everything too have their own worries. Those who seem to be enjoying themselves overseas are either struggling with their gayness or their religious direction or their long distance relationship. Just remember that you’re not alone in your daily battles. Really.

Scenario #5

Boy meets girl. Both fall in love with each other. Girl’s parents dislike boy. Girl breaks up with boy.//sad story eh. The boy can wait. But it’s an uphill battle. It’s tougher to prove yourself. There’s already this misconception and prejudice you can’t erase. Unless you turn out to be Superman. Or Batman. Or you’re from outer space. Ok.

Scenario #6

Boy meets girl. Girl flirts with others. Get in and out of relationships. Boy waits. Girl gets together with boy, after 4 years. //a fantastic story, eh? I wonder if the boy feels like he was the last choice. Poor thing. But he gets the girl. What the girl really thinks is not that important right. The end justifies the means. Or does it. If you have watched Hitch (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386588/), this guy is a professional, who helps others get their dream girls. He create opportunities, chances, ‘fate’ so that the girl will give the guy a chance.

Godspeed then.

When the toothbrush talked to me.

2010-01-09T00:57:00.001+08:00

The feeling is all too familiar. The dynamics. The jokes. The understanding is there. Of course. We’ve clocked so many hours together. We can finish each other sentences. Finish each others’ jokes. Close our eyes, and we can almost guess the same single digit integer. That’s the power of rapport. That’s the power of a strong bond. Just like uhu glue, it takes 10 seconds to solidify. Time is almost the only constant in everything. To cook good pasta, you need to cook it over slow fire, for 12 minutes. Maggi mee cooks for 2 minutes, but you get shitty nutrients. A good cake gotta be baked under slow heat for 45 minutes.

We live in an era we want everything to be fast. How fast is your internet connection? “it’s fast.” By the numbers, 2 seconds to load the site is ok. 3 feels like an eternity. You turn fidgety. 5, and you start calling singtel. 10 and you wonder if you should change the ISP (Internet service provider) next month. Fast food. The 60 seconds challenge by Mcdonald’s. Remember? And then we gobble, and we ‘wash it down’ with the Coke. Sounds crazy hur. Our grandchildren would say “What? You needed to chew? We just swallow the pill”. We truncate our speeches to single nouns and adjectives, to yes and nos, and we tear the English language apart and make SM Lee tear when we speak our infamous ‘singlish’.

And we want everything next to Now. We have grown so impatient with everything, everybody. Not working out, move. Not doing well, jump. Not feeling great, shift. Not having fun, bounce.

The traffic lights will still wait for its mechanical timer relay, even if we stare hard at it. The lift doesn’t come sooner if we hit the button a few more times. Your old laptop with 512mb of ram wont boot up faster if u sweep the keyboard when the BIOS is loading up. The ice dispenser at Subway will not dispense the ice faster if u push harder.

We need to be more patient. Take kontrol.

Kowabunga !!!

2009-12-31T15:13:00.004+08:00

If you like it big, click here.

Higher. North.

2009-12-30T23:45:00.001+08:00

Harbourfront

It is tough. Especially when you have just begun to get things into place. I was wondering why did they hurt so bad, most of the time. These few words - 'just when I was started xyz, things have to turn to abc'. Ventured into the inner self for a deeper understanding of it all. It is not that complicated really. Laoba was right. Ocassionally. And I thought I was setting the pace.

Just when I started to get hang of the place. Just when I found the quickest way to get back to the mrt. Just when I become more familiar of the style. Just when I started up believe that it will work out. Just when I convinced myself that I can do this. Rules change overnight. Conditions. Situations. The future. The rhythm.

Potong pasir. Oh. Potong pasir eh?

There is always an inertia. That’s why companies find it so tough to more. Depending on how you look at it. Sometimes it is tougher to convince a larger group than a single individual, but most of the time, it's the other way around.

Serangoon.

At the end of the day, it is all about convincing them, to shift their focus, and to inject hope into them. To paint a new perspective into the lives.

Everything is changing. And like Damien Rice mentioned, only one thing remained constant – Time. The seconds tick on. Without hesitation. Without haste. In every minute, there’s 29 seconds sweeping down, and 29 seconds up. In each minute, the needle has 2 seconds to be completely natural. 00. And 30. At these 2 positions, the needle can let go entirely. And other times, it’s fighting against gravity. First to fight against swinging downwards uncontrollably. Then to fight to swing it up. A good watch has a perfectly cut crystal at the heart of it, to ensure that the movement does not ‘run’. It’s called Quartz Movement. I pity the needle, I salute the needle but that’s what it’s made to do. And it is fulfilling its destiny.

There isn’t a single object in this world which is not moving. For all of us are made of atoms. And it’s bouncing off each other at the microscopic level. We gotta keep moving. Like sharks.

We seldom move homes because we humans tend to grow fond of the place. Because we built a relationship with the lift buttons. With the stairs. Other than these inanimate objects, of course we also learnt to love the corner parking lot which we always aim for. The one next to the pillar. Too emotional. Nobody likes to change. All the hoohas etc by Obama, and we're still waiting for him to fail prove himself.

Potong Pasir. Opps. Kovan.

Change doesn’t go along well with timetables, routines on Saturdays, the weekdays, the weekends. What am I talking here.

Hougang

If it is not working out, we move on. Logically. We break patterns, burn bridges, erase memories, bury the past, and get out. This is counter intuitive and the exact opposite of being loyal. When loyalty is being tested, we have to hang on. NO MATTER WHAT. There’re just some things which, can’t be solved with loyalty, persistence, drive, will, alone. All these don’t matter in some cases.

I guess what needs to be done, has to be done. Here's a list of things which I have hoped to achieve in 2010, and what I have done so far to get nearer to those goals:

- Kickboxing, found out that bukit merah cc has it, on Fridays
- Plan 1st 2 quarters of 2010. All the months have been been pinned up to the wall. And 6 months are not very long. Only have 5 official working days a week. We have 4 weeks a month, minus all the inefficient days, we are officially running out of time I must say.
2 weeks to get a plan the new product, 1.5 months I push It out. Already got a programmer ready.
- Visit home more often, already bought 4 tickets back.
- Meet old friends. Make an effort to scheudule and nt cancel last minute

- To learn 5760 Chinese words by heart. Written. That's 20 words a day. 120 a week. 480 a month.
- Doing community work. Had signed up with national youth council to help out in a 3days 2 night camp. :) for fun, for personal gratification, to make sure I utilize my free time properly.
- Ok. Realistically speaking, we have been doing some planning. And 20k was not 'challenging' and 50k was too optimistic. Still finalising the financial forecast. Will confirm in these few days.

- Bring AtticTractor to the public. Already in motion.

It was pretty amazing how things can change so radically in just one turn of events. The last time I took the journey north, to Gary's place, he was not engaged yet, I still had hope in whatever I was doing, well, I was happy. Full of hope. May I say optimism. Ok it's sad. I shall let it rest.

The focus is to improve yourself relentlessly. To not fall inside the comfort zone and be sloppy. Once we're there, it is too late. There's always something to improve about yourself. To break a sweat.

There is no try. It boils down to want or not.

Lexchew 3.5
Updated bios, drivers & what not. And we console ourselves that we have more time for ourselves now. Of course.

Tongkang. oh time to bounce.

This is it?

2009-12-26T12:41:00.002+08:00

This is a conversation I had with myself this morning. Profanities and extreme ideas were filtered out for the comfort of the discerning readers. When your world crumbles, you’d try to have a conversation with God, but when he’s too busy entertaining Santa Claus, you’d need to somehow find a solution with yourself. I do not know what’s the next step. As lost as a kite in the sky.

Me	What ?
Voice	That’s it ?
Me	Yup. That’s it.
Voice	Not gonna fight it ?
Me	What ? There’s no point. It’s over.
Voice	Why ?
Me	Cos it’s like the exams results. Or the failed bid for the tender. There’s no avenue for you to appeal.
Voice	But this is different.
Me	It’ll never be the same you see.
Voice	After all those shit you told yourself ? About fighting for your destiny, and now u’re AFRAID ?
Me	This IS different. Don’t you get it. It’s fighting destiny. I’m not afraid. No. I’m not.
Voice	What if it’s a test ?
Me	It’s more like a message from God. That’s how I see it.
Voice	I don’t really care how you see it. I have a thousand rebuttals. You submit everything to God now ? So you operate this way now.
Me	Yup.
Voice	You gotta fight man.
Me	It’s not about that.
Voice	Coward.
Me	I would have to agree.
Voice	What’s the deal now ?
Me	It’s over. You can’t plug a USB into Firewire. It’s incompatible.
Voice	Is that what you’re really thinking? Or is that your pussy barking excuses for you?
Me	Don’t push it. You don’t know me.
Voice	Come on. There’s Ying and Yang for a reason. The complement thingy ?
Voice	What about change?
Me	Then Change.
Voice	Muffled.
Me	Happy New Year.

The Beautiful Aftermath.

2009-12-22T14:57:00.000+08:00

In 2009, I have tasted far more failures and rejections than success and triumphs. I say it's just a fair act of God, to keep my head from growing too big. And of course, it's true that we learn so much more when we fail. Not to say we should have done better. Should have KNOWN better. Of course, on hindsight, we seem to be able to SEE everything. But when we fail, we mop and whine, and true friends will be there to hull u away from the morbid drowning pool of self destructions and self-pity. They'll be there, knowing that you screwed up bad, they'll say, let's do an After Action Review. Let's lay out the whole project and point the blame to the correct parties. And gently, nudge you to the correct battle position, ready for the next fight. And of course, there's so many things which I could have done, better.

I think i did quite a bit trying to change the world. The world, is of course made up of people. People around you. I have burnt a few bridges down as well. Through some harsh acts of stupidity. But the world - is not a perfect place. Mcdonald's will continue to harm our children's or even grandchildren's bodies. Dunhill will continue to make cigarettes, and of course - British American Tobacco is here to stay. The point is - we have choices. Like what was being said in Hellboy, it's not about where you came from, or how your life ends, that determine if you're a man, it's the choices you make.

It's funny to even think about how my guy friends wonder, what's so bad being a 0. Of course there's nothing bad. There's always a choice. You decide. You want to be a zero, or a one, or quarter or whatever, it's you. You have the responsibility, unfortunately.That is what making the world go round. The choices we make. Irrational and stupid consumer behaviour drives the economy, fueling the greed and wrong perception of individuals. There's nothing wrong with that either. We choose to be ignorant of a lot of things in life.

A man knows where he's going, where he came from, and every move he makes seems calculated, and precise, and he's not putting anyone around him at risk. He takes kontrol of his life and not whine at work. We have seen a lot of zeros around. Those converts are not supposed to be. Due to the environment and the upbringing, we sadly see a lot of lost souls questioning the very meaning of their own existence. That's pretty saddening.

We have listened to so many great great songs, watched so many great movies. We were also hungry at the next TED video, so desperate for another round of motivation filled syringe. We collect all the quotable quotes, those that changed our lives, and list them all, and pin up on the wall, so that we can read it, whenever we feel low. We bookmark all the great websites we have seen, so that we don't lose it, so that we can go back to it again. but we don't do that for Earth. Seemingly infinite supply, right? We never thought of preserving it for the next generation. Hopenhagen is a good start. But my mother couldn't care less. I think it would take another 50 years to reach out to half the 6.7 billion people on earth, so that they give a shit about their earth. Our earth. When will they start to care for Earth like the way they care for their own belongings? Just because they didn't pay for it, is that why they don't give a damn about it? Time to tax em when they're born.

We're not doing enough. We're too relaxed, giving ourselves too many excuses. The people around us are not helping much either. They too are hiding quietly in their own 'lives', couldn't care shit about the things happening around them. They're trying hard to improve their living standards, trying to be happy. Keyword : try. They will never be. The game of Going Green for Earth can't tolerate these people. The 'people' have to stand united, to understand this problem, and exercise the Going Green Campaign like religion.

Hope is one thing. Doing is another.

2010 Meere

2009-12-20T21:18:00.001+08:00

2009. The year of unspeakable gore, horror, fear and of course pain. But there has also been happiness, intense excitement, hope and progress.

So what happened in 2009? The year of change. Not only Obama was new in office, but, a lot of my peers including myself entered a new environment. The workplace. Of course we all graduated, throwing our mortar boards in joy, but deep down, we know we’re leaving the incubation centre – NUS. The place where the bosses are forgiving, the higher authorities possess empathy and mercy.

In every review, there’s a lesson or two to be learnt. In every fight, there’s a loser and winner. No, don’t listen to those who say there’s no such thing as a loser, only learners. No. It’s okay not to admit yourself as a loser, but when you reflect deep down, please take yourself seriously. Do listen to others with a pinch of salt, especially those who afraid to tell you the truth. The ugly truth.

Regret is also another human emotions which people tend to shun, and usually associated with the basket of ‘negative’ emotions. Choices we made, cause different chain reactions. Some were so wild beyond imagination and most of the time, not within our range of expected events. Apologies were never too late ( One Republic was wrong ), and Ushers should have known better to be Moving Mountains. Some things never change. The others. They never change. Or at least they said they try, but they don’t.

I have always believed there has to be some disruptive events, to knock us out of our comfort zones, to kick us back to reality. If not, we would continue to drift in our own river of assumptions and self-confidence, hidden in again, our own forest of destructions and regret.

2009 has not been a good year for family gatherings. Due to the lack of funerals. Yes. It’s unfortunate but true. It’s sad to know that some of us tried to choose our family members. But remember, your parents didn’t choose you either. Don’t start the list with how they disappointed you. But begin with your roles and responsibilities. Did you call home? How are your siblings? What on earth were they busy with? Do you even care?

Of course, talk is cheap. It’s always easier for us to advise others. That’s why it’s so important. Because they’re out of the always-shitty situations which you are in, they have a better view. Shit affects our judgement, our response and our well-being. But shit happens. It’s part of life. The question for the book – should be “who moved my shit” because it’s through shit that we grow. It’s with shit that we have a better understanding of ourselves, and of the world around us. Who have heard of the name Al-Qaeda and terrorism before Sept 11? Our airport security sucked before that. The half-height automatic platform gates for the above grounds stations were installed only after X number of suicides and suicides attempts, and the accidents. Yup. We should embrace shit and wake up everyday with the mindset to embrace it. It’s gonna come anyway, right? It’s almost laughable when you see people moaning and whining when shit arrives. Monday comes, you can always expect work on your work desks. Don’t complain.

What? You got a lousy boss? Don’t complain. He has lousy clients. And what? You’re at the end of the food chain? If you can’t command, you’d have to obey. Till then, keep your mouth shut and play the game. Learn the rules. When you think you have enough ammunition, strike it out on your own. Or, you can do it now, realize that you don’t really have what it takes, go back to be your boss’s bitch.

Have been having a lot of BBQ’s and catching a few good movies together with the Sausage gang. Started laomasays.blogspot.com and laobasays.blogspot.com just a while ago, to document all the quirky things which our mothers and fathers conveniently say every day. Some of these make us LOL’s. Some make us wanna kill ourselves. The chemistry for the sausage gang has always been on a high. Love em.

Our band finally has a name. It’s a good year as any other year to start having a band, to play in pubs, at events. Attictractor.blogspot.com was created for the band. More communications outside the studio have been detected, and of course, Greenday in January 2010 would bond us together forever. Always looking forward to the next ‘fisting’ session.

How’s business? Business has been ok. Lots of exciting things happened, and more to come in the new year. Got a new table, new monitor, going to get a new computer, soon. It’s been a fantastic year for growth, and we did grow. As individuals, as a whole. We managed to rake in 20k of revenue in 4 months. My goal is to bring in 50k in the first two quarters of 2010. Let’s see if our magic can work out a miracle.

2010 would be an even more difficult year. Despite the welcome in open arms, we have to be wary, with our guards on. The weak will die, the strong will get stronger. Singapore is a small country, we have to fight 10 times harder than the rest.

Talking about religion. Having a religion doesn’t make you all powerful and wo-ah-ah. And please don’t be proud that you’re an atheist either. Learn to respect em. You have your own life, we have ours. These are modern times, where Google is our best friend, and we think we know it all. But it’s good to be afraid of something bigger than us. So that we don’t become too arrogant and all. You are your own God? Good luck to you then.

The Henderson trails etc have been very close to the heart, after a few walks, and of course I HAVE to check out Marina Barrage after failing to win the ITQ last month. It’s beautiful, with laughters and very strong wind. And there’s this fear of having our heads cut off by the sharp and tense kite strings. Haha. Will sure to be back again, for wedding shots for a dear friend, or simply kite flying. They can improve on the bus stop at Marina Bay though. It’s terrible.

As we wave our goodbyes to 2009, we have to ask ourselves – what have we learnt? What should we have done? Dig out your 2009 resolutions, and select 3 items, which you have TRIED to do in 2009. List down the reasons why you failed. And DO those 3 items in 2010. Don’t make the same mistakes again. Don’t make a list of ‘wishlist’ resolutions that you wanna do, but in the end, they’re too overwhelming. Start with three. One if you want. You can change the world one step at a time.

And of course, just one random act of kindness a day, and the world would be a better place.

1000 seas can’t satisfy my thirst. It’s gotta be you.

Merry X'mas and a Happy new year. If you're screwing around, don't get caught!

I hit 40 last week.

2009-12-08T22:23:00.010+08:00

"There's no shame in dying" Said the judge in the tear jerker My Sister's Keeper. This has got to do with our ego, our built in system, and how we’re bought up. And of course, the environment that swallowed us whole. I believe we’re 30% genetically determined, and 70% set by the surroundings. This is because humans are super adaptive, and we are all chameleons in our own rights. The machines which we own, are very powerful. Even we treat it like shit, we don’t exercise, eat junk every day, you can still bet on a 30-40 years of life in them. You see, the bodies we own adapt to however we treat it. Whether we abuse it or love it as much as we love the vices around us, the body never complains. Well, it does, but many of us chose to ignore it. The big belly, the blackish lips, the coughs – they don’t stop a lot of people from binging or smoking their favourite sticks.

We’re abusing our bodies. All of us are. Technology and the collective advancements of the world, have made us take a lot of things for granted, and the way we look at food, for example. The relationship with food has somewhat shifted from being the fundamental need to provide the fuel for the body, to a very sick need to satisfy the inner soul, the ‘cravings’ within. No. It’s not right. I have never reached this size before. and it's painful. I feel disgusted. It's a bad feeling. Inside perhaps im rotting inside. 40 is not acceptable. It's time to change. The healthy way of living awaits. Time to take kontrol of my life and prepare myself to live longer.

I think it’s all about expectations management. Parents. And of course the schools. No. they didn’t prepare the kids for the battlefields out there. The emotional stress. The wicked bosses. The dog eats dog world. The lick the clients’ boots. I think the expectations on parents have changed too. You not only have to feed them well, make sure they mix with the right company, feed them emotionally, inject them with values.. and then the schools are suppose to teach them to be analytical. To learn how to say what is right, what is wrong. But yet to be open enough to listen to new ideas. You might not agree to gay culture, but you, should be a global citizen and try to understand why they do what they do. I think it’s very sad that some of us live in this bubble of ours. This bubble blinds us when we fight to see. The more we try to see, the less we see.

Too many of us are too arrogant, too comfortable with ourselves, our heads are too big. Too ignorant, too irrespective. Too illogical. It’s time to change the world. And like what MJ said – it all starts with the man in the mirror. But we know it’s stupid to try to convert everyone. The economy needs illogical consumers. The schools need lousy students ( aka me ). Companies need to refresh themselves firing weaker links. My mum always says, if everybody is smart, who would sweep the floors ? ( shooting at me ) The world is fair. If given a second chance, don’t you fuck it up.

So what have I been up to. LMF Concert. Got a new digital pen. Got a new lcd. Another 2Gb ram. Wireframes. UX. UI. E-commerce. $30 cab ride. Late night run. An analysis of the game, reset the rules, reposition the pawns, redraw the strategies. It’s the end of the year. Prepare the resolution for 2010, boys and girls. And be prepared to break them. A little visit back to NUS Biz school’s canteen. At the same spot I sat for many weeks, rushing my web projects. And there I was again.

Stay logical. Stay young.

A Closed Christmas Card

2009-12-03T23:49:00.006+08:00

Emotions are usually irrelevant in our day to day gambles, our shots towards ‘greatness’. Yet we feel that we’re always sucked into the situation, allowing emotions to get the better of us, making us make shitty decisions, forgetting who we are, why we are here. Life is not fair. It’s not. Some of us seem to be able to control emotions like their limbs. And so many of us lost the motor capability to control it anymore. We let ourselves run wild.

It’s oh so important that we always take a step back, remove ourselves from the situation, and analyse the situation from the 3rd person perspective. It’s crucial. I have learnt from Tony Robbins, Adam Khoo themselves, to ‘remove’ ourselves from the situation. For example, a lot of people would tear when they talk about something which makes them sad, like the passing of their certain someone. Yes. Because they can still feel it. They can still feel the morning dew which wets their feet on the morning of the funeral. We were created with a very powerful mind and heart, sometimes it’s difficult to comprehend its greatness.

The power of believe. The imagination. Most of us ( including me )tend to use this tool to perform another tiring and draining task – called worrying. It’s non-beneficial, distorts our analysed data, and distracts us from our main goal. But we still worry day in day out. Because our minds need creative space to grow. As simple of that. And talking about believe, do you know you are more likely to do something if you have SEEN/HEARD/MADE BELIEVE that somebody else has done it before. For example, you’ll most likely score an A in a tough subject, because you know that somebody before you have done it before. Cos within our minds, we already broke one barrier – we already convinced the mind that hey, it’s NOT impossible.

Yup. Like I said, humans are the most powerful species on earth, and yet, we are weak. We let desire and irrational thinking and illogical what nots ruin our lifes. We can’t seem to be able to master one tool which will make life great for ourselves – our minds.

Of course this world is not fair. Those that are able to live comfortably are not those who are the smartest, yet it’s those who know how to USE those who are smartest, who are able to hit it big. But this is life. You have dice in your hands. Whether you skip your turn or not, the game continues.

**************************

Over lunch with fatty bombom and yixin, we had some weird yet challenging topics which challenged the brightest amongst us. And yes – it wasn’t about the latest tech gadgets nor some smart webby which has millions of users yet still can’t sustain on its own due to a lack of a proper revenue model. It was instead about prostitutes, human emotions and our other half.

The external factors will always be against us. Those who managed to control their actions and find the best solutions will survive. When shit happens, how do you react. I'm new to the emotions game. I started by stripping all of it away, being a robot. I can say that it's been beneficial and progressing well. Without the emotions to drag us down, we meet goals quicker, we clear shit faster, we execute tasks easier. What we 'feel' not like doing, when we 'feel' that life is so tough, those are just things we come up with. Those fucking excuses wont get you no where. They'll pull you down like anchors and you'll live to regret them.

Playin’ : Empire State Of Mind by Jay-Z Feat Alicia Keys

When December Pounces, are you ready ?

2009-11-26T20:53:00.009+08:00

Was just looking at some trends in the market. The big boys are not really sure how to utilize social media to target consumers. Of course I’m talking big here. They’re the big boys. But yeh, it’s definitely easy to say not to do this and that, but when it comes to execution, thousands of things might go wrong, and they usually do.

One, users don’t respond to ads posted by the company itself. Ads saying how good the products are. That’s the 90’s. Where the mass media is effective to get the word out. About this new low fat chocolate bar. About this colourful candy. Those were the days where one whole village owns one 2nd hand tv set. Now, what makes the product ads, are those that are posted by USERS themselves. Real genuine users. Some companies 3-4 years back were exposed of their dirty tricks ( I don’t know how, but the masses found out ) – the big company created blog sites to act as users. Pfft. One word of users are more powerful than 10 words from the company. Therefore the companies have to encourage users to share. And that’s what it’s all about. Sharing is caring.

Two, there are more efforts ( if not more ) needed in infiltrating the users’ mind using the social media, compared to creating a tv ad / powerful visual for the poster. Yes you might save on the distribution costs, but you spend more resources in engineering the mechanics for the attack. Look – it’s not rocket science. You gotta try multiple angles, different pressure points etc. The best thing is – users are hungry for it. They are hungry for a good viral video so that they can share with their friends. They are desperate. It’s a shame companies are not fast enough in adopting technologies to assist in targeting their consumers. Dell said that Twitter helped them earn $3m, alerting the consumers of offers etc. And i think Tiger Airways and the other budget airlines are using twitter pretty efficiently. :D

Three, we can’t use something which we don’t understand. A lot of us don’t understand the mindset of twitterers and facebookers. They simply don’t. It’s not just the generation gap. It’s the technology gap. To know how twitter works, you gotta read up on WHERE and WHEN are they accessing twitter. And of course, HOW are they accessing twitter. Facebooker s? Other than Stalking and showing off their latest visits to wherever and latest buys, and latest accessories, what are they thinking? WHY is the question to ask. Facebook and Twitter hit us like a flash flood. None of us are prepared for it, at least those people who ought to be prepared, are caught flapping in the water like a scared duck. Oh shit. The bloggers are BLOGGING about us. What shall we do. What shall we do ! Shall we engage in some young social media companies to help us with our BRANDING ? WHAT ?

Four, Social media is the new SEO. So. What’s NEXT?

A million thoughts pierce through my neurons a day, and this blog extracts some of the painful ones.

How many Novembers do you have left ? If you're lucky - maybe 50. Maybe less. You ask yourself - did you use Nov 2009 properly ?

A lot of us don't seem to be able to comprehend this resource - called Time. Just because you can't see the clock running downwards to zero doesnt mean u have ∞. it's scary. The old will tell us there's not much time left. The youth thinks they have forever.

I was just thinking about this - it seems that in everything, we seem to appreciate them more when they're scarce. When we only have 1 hour to chit-chat, we get right down to business. No small talk. No awkward silence. No shy eye contacts. When we only have 1 shot, we do our best. We don’t think as much. We give our best.

So if the world is to REALLY end come 2010, what would you do? Would you have wanted to accomplished more in 2009? What about the general selfishness of humans? There are of course 2 scenarios. One is that the world ends, and the super rich managed to raise funds and get a couple of cheap Chinese labourers to build em ships. Or the world ends. Everyone dies.

Now. I am pretty confident that if the world will come to an end, let say the information is symmetrical throughout the world. Let say the richest and poorest have the same amount of knowledge. Would the super rich spread the wealth, and allow everybody to enjoy the last month of mankind?

Or we humans will never give up, and will always fight till the end. Some monks and djs will still be on top of some mountains either meditating or broadcasting shit to the world ( as we know it ).. but I believe we will work till the last moment to find a solution.

Hmm. Dry shit.

What are you getting for yourself this Christmas?

Update : You gotta read this. Social Media stuff. Inc 500 which used Social media

Share : Discover the 90/10 Principle.

2009-11-23T21:01:00.005+08:00

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? ……….By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!!

Thanks Skye for sharing this with us.

Ride that bicycle with quiet confidence.

2009-11-15T11:59:00.009+08:00

The path of the entrepreneur. we celebrate failure. Because we dared. Because we had the courage. Because we have a reason. To change the world. Whether you label us daredevils or stupid losers, we are here to stay. I believe we're just risk takers who love an adventure. We love the adrenaline. The nights when we cant sleep. As much as we hate it, we believe we can. that's the confidence we have.

Cos being an entrepreneur is a bit like riding the bicycle. We can read about the techniques, the experiences of others, the skills required ( balance etc ), the hardware ( bicycle ), the environment, the support, the encouragement, the dares, the wet blankets. there are a lot of things that we couldn't control. The environment for example. The conditions of the wind. the landscape of the area where we start to learn how to ride.

At the end of the day, regardless of all other things, the only way to learn how to ride a bicycle, is to push it out, remove the 2 little wheels, and ride. We will fall. Definitely. Who has not fallen while learning how to ride? We shall fall. With pride. With our heads held high. With the hope that we'll succeed one day. With the quiet confidence. and most important of all - with the humbleness of a good king.

There's no point being arrogant. You dont need to prove yourself by talking big. By talking. No. When you make it, it's the praises of others that will pull you away from the crowd. NO need you yourself to sell yourself. Come on. I have been hearing a lot about people who are arrogant. We are usually less sympathetic for them compared to those who are humbler.

Just like riding a bicycle, when we fall, there'll people who laugh, there'll people who look, comment, judge. They're merely onlookers, bypassers. Some of them mean no harm. Some wanted to see you fall. But it's fine. You grind your teeth and march on. You take the punches. You take it all in. Internalise it. Reflect. React. It's true that if you cant change the events, you can change your reactions. It's how you react that matters most.

6 months have flew by, with a revenue that we're genuinely proud of, with even more mistakes ( sorry, we learn ) that we call, war scars, we believe we have a role to play here. We're here to stay, that's for sure. This is the best time to learn. We have eaten so much shit we practically have no appetite for other things. But we learn. fast. With After Action Reviews, Daily KPI's, midnight Todo-lists, we moved fast. We're going to ace it. 2010 shall be tough. Everybody knows it. The economy has recovered ? Sure. But business owners are wary. They're going to hold on to their dough more tightly, spending only if they're truly convinced.

We'll make sure that we meet that mark. We'll have to prove that we can. In this life, we always have a chance to prove ourselves. We almost always have only one chance to prove ourselves. No im not talking about the first impression you give to your future mother-in-law. In everything, there's only one chance. If you fail, make sure you learn something.

Exciting products coming up in 2010. Look out !

2 weeks ago. Shisha. Mac Lunch. what else. cant remember anything from there. Caught up with a few people :) that's all i can remember. darn.
last week. was exhilarating.
Monday started with Entrepreneurs Unplugged @ Toa Payoh's HDB Hub Convention. with guests like @elimchew, Saeed Amidi, Dennis Goh and @Alvin_Yap the discussion was pretty interesting. Exchanged namecards with a few other interesting people. It's good to make friends with them, so that we can encourage each other.

Oh we had a bbq last week. And it was fantastic. Kept the budget under 13 per person. played daidi as usual. celebrated Gerald's birthday. next : 12th december 2009 one of us is moving out of singapore for a few years. we'll miss his style. his antics. We will. So this bbq is for him.

And then the mad rush. asked around for the feedback about marina barrage. gotta design the mockup. did up the proposal with garygenie. din sleep much after the large mccafe flat white. hopefully we can get the project.

err, met a few prospects too. my cousin's husband who's also in Hoovix also started his company, and it feels good when i have somebody to talk to. The experience is almost the same, meeting prospective clients, meetings meetings and more meetings, email, sit at home the whole day. but of course his projects are worth 5-10 times compared to mine.

Nowadays my mind is so occupied with work that i dont have time to think about what to blog. seriously. darn

anyone wants to adopt rabbit(s) ?

oh 2012 was nice. the cgi was pretty good. u get to see Washington LA etc kena destroyed. wooohoo

Make the most out of your donut.

2009-11-08T20:43:00.005+08:00

And so November punched me in the stomach and raped me of my perfect fantasy.

Met my ex shanghai boss and he injected direction and zeal into my blood with a tiny syringe, so gently that you could barely feel it. The baby monkey would need to grow up into a adult monkey, and eventually evolve into a chimpanzee perhaps. Told me lessons about cocky people who don't bother being humble and learn the meaning of respect. And yes, we need a niche and a focal point. A niche might be something we like to do, it might be something we're good at, or it might be something the market needs. and so, i rubbed gaygenie, i mean garygenie in a short diskussion and there we had it. our niche. And so, we took a deep breath and with tinkles in our eyes, we looked at each other and stared into a distance ( different direction ), with hope.

Oh well, November. It's going to be a great month. "i'll make sure of that". lol.

In the brink of destruction. That's when we reflect the deepest and somehow, a wave of strength and will would come pouring over our mortal bodies and weak souls. That's when we make a fucking decision to change. to not look back and march forward.

Had indian buffet last week @ golden landmark hotel. Thanks Kathy :D err, din eat much. Just one plate, and i'm done. Yes. it's pretty decent i think. The ambiance and continuous gentle drumbeats drove my appetite wild.

Met up with two friends doing post grad at NTU and NUS respectively. Both are smart as well (duh). Humble! i like. it was good catching up with them after so long. I have known one of them since 1995. 2009 - 1995 = 14 years. We were little boys then ! fate plays it well. Realise NTU has this Panggang Chicken which is so similar to NUS engin's. and NUS's Science's Paigu mian was as good as ever.

And last Friday, we had a good time catching up at some chinese restaurant opposite Central. The pictures certainly looked as if we've been flown back to shanghai. the feeling is all too familiar. And after that, Dee and i went to Butter, for the first time. Virgin Butter Oil i'd call it. Wont be going there for a while though. If not for ms lynn who came back from Buffalo, i'd not be there. :D

Dropped by Singapore Sports School cos the nephews were having lessons there today.

Tried Fourtones last week, went to Beat Merchant this week. Feel that shiin is still the best. but recently we have been jamming in the morning. but shiin only opens after 12. hmm.

Life is like a donut.

2009-10-23T02:55:00.003+08:00

There's always a trade off for everything. Life IS perhaps a zero-sum game unfortunately. At least at any point of time. Meaning you can only be at one place at one time, doing one job at a time, being at a place at a time.

Therefore,
if you dont like your job, quit it. Can't do that ? Cos you need the moolah? Then suck it up till you find a better opportunity somewhere else. Can't find any ? Improve your skills and look at the right places.
if you dont like your boss, be your own. Not a risk-taker? Not sure if you'd FAIL ? Who hasnt. Those who are afraid to fail because of reasons which will make you feel stupid ( lose face, ego etc ), DONT COMPLAIN.
if you think you're in a sucky relationship, get the hell out of there.
if you think the world is unfair, do something about it.

Don't just think, DO.

I think I have enough of life and death matters for this month. It's depressing, but i manage to surpress it and no, i'm not being emotional, for I have mastered the art of letting it pass. Like the wind. For no wind blows forever. No hurricane whirls and whirls forever. But I do find myself sighing for no reasons some times. That's when the mind becomes weak and selfish, pulling along all the other body motor functions with it.

Have you ever come across someone who is young ( 20+ ) but he/she is already mentally prepared to leave the world ? Yes. I have. He always tell me that whatever he chooses to do, he is confident that he can do a great job. For hedoesnt want to regret it when he leaves. That's why he's such an efficient bastard. There's no tinge of procrastination nor hesitation when there's a task to be executed. It hurts to hear him say it. "Ya, i have already accepted the fact thati'm leaving early." Imagine you calling me on my mobile, and Singtel girl would answer you. WTF i say. It's painful. But what the hell - he's got no weaknesses. Yes. I am not exaggerating. I thought about it for a long while, and yes. He has none. It's the model answer for the Life Exam.

Humble, always smiling, friendly and supportive. You don't see him whining over spilled milk. He say we don't have time. Let's find a way to solve it. And make sure we don't do it again. You see him looking forward, very quickly, for he knows the future comes quick, and there's not a lot of it. He seizes the day by the minutes, not wasting any of it. He's forgiving and helpful. Yet he never brags about anything. He's easily contended, but not when he's up against his own standard.

If you have heard of a live funeral, you would be hearing this from me. And it's pushing me to hit my own limits. To be where I was 5 years ago. When i was full of passion and zeal. There's just so much energy in him. It works perfectly for me, as I draw motivation and fuel from people like him. His praises make me go further. To break out of my own comfort zone. To grow. To break habits, to behave like somebody else.

It's sad to see so many people staying in our their little world, defining preferences and habits, fighting against following others advice and strategies, hating to reinvent themselves, and then realise that they've been stagnant. Of course there's a balance for everything. You have to know where to start/stop.

Life is a marathon, made up of small dashes. If you can't win the first dash, make sure you're ready for the next one. For we don't have a lot of dashes in one lifetime. The good news is you'll only have to win a few, and you're already ahead of others.

Fight that fight.

If life is unfair, are you doing anything about it ?

2009-10-09T20:34:00.006+08:00

For the past weeks, I have been enjoying the Antartica timezone lifestyle, where there's less than 5 hours of moonlight a day. Trying to sleep in the day, and struggle to stay awake at night. It's taxing, and my friend JUST started introducing ginseng tea to me today. It worked. I was up like a light. Gotta drink more of that. PoweruP!

I attended a lil talk by gothere.sg and hungrygowhere.com, organised by Incub3 just two days ago. It's been a while since I attended talks like these. To me it has always been meaningless. For I seldom gain stuffs from these talks. Perhaps it's the crowd. Perhaps it's me. But one thing's for sure. I turned up to support my friend who happens in Incub3 and I got what i wanted. Inspirations and motivation. Though I already know that it's sux to be an entrepreneur, I know for sure ( ok, not for sure, but somehow ) that all of us who take the shit in the beginning as entrepreneurs will make it somehow, at the end. Yes. Failure is inevitable. Those quotes which we hear time and again : you have to take the shit. If not, you don't have what it takes.

Honestly, this path is not for everyone. For a lot of people in this red dot, it's not a matter of whether they can or not. It's that the environment and odds are stacked up high against them ( compared to entrepreneurs in other countries )

I have to quote Dennis from hungrygowhere about the kids in the States for example. He said that at the age of 7, they have already started selling coke ( he's referring to the drink ) in front of their house. I agree. Young kids learn the basics of entrepreneurship when they make lemonade out of lemons. By the time they start their first company at 18, they already ate so much shit. Their learning curve would be shorter than us. Here, we were still busy studying when we were 24. How to compare ? We will never be able to compete with other countries in terms of the number of successful startups.

I have heard about this long time ago back in those technopreneurship classes : Look at our culture. We don't celebrate failures. I believe Asians in general or maybe just the chinese ( ok maybe not ) bang too much on the 'face' issue. Losing face is one thing we fight hard for. Looking at the trends in the classroom. How do we learn ? Where do we learn ? Not by raising your hand and asking questions in the classrooms certainly. We prefer to memorise it out of some books written by authors we barely know.

Oh wells. The risks. The sacrifice. So don't complain and moan when you heard of some successful entrepreneurs' stories. Don't ever say life is unfair. You don't know how much they gave up and sacrifice. The fear. All the cold water which others pour at them. All the looks that they get. All the insecurities their parents, spouses feel. Don't you even dare say quietly to yourself : I could have done that too. For words are cheap.

**************************************************************************************

To end it off, i would like to paint 2 scenarios which we always encounter with hi-bye friends.

Scenario A
HB : Hey, so where are you working at now?
ME : Oh at ABC company.
HB : Oh, is it at ABC Road ? ( Guessing a location )
ME : Nope. It's at ZYZ..
HB : Oh. yah. I have gotta friend there too. So how is it ?
ME : Oh it's ok.
HB : Cool. You take care. I gotta run.
ME : Ya. sure. See you on fb.

Scenario B
HB : Hey so where are you working now ?
ME : Oh I just started my little company doing web stuff.
HB : Oh yah. i remembered - you were doing freelance last time right.
ME : Yep. So now it's full time lo.
HB : I see. So are you planning to get a job ?

-_-

Psst! time to wake up. September's over.

2009-10-04T02:23:00.015+08:00

September had been great. *the following events did not happen chronologically.
Wrapped up two projects. Yes. Thanks Danny and C-Yao for working relentlessly day and night.
Come first week of October, we'll be wrapping up another one. Things are happening at wrap speed now. Got so much to do!

Attended a wedding @ Pulai Springs, Johor. I have a feeling I been there before in 2004 for training camp. But I have no recollection at all. Remembered that the camp master had to fetch my partner and I from Changi right after we touch down from Pert all the way there. So it was the middle of the night. I am pretty sure. Was the videoman and I have to say, I prefer taking photos. I mean, photos are 2 dimensional. But videos ? There's EVERYTHING that you need to worry about when you take photos, but this is like 30 frame per SECOND. You can't reshoot. For photos, you can still reshoot in that split second. For videos, there's this continuation element, which makes it more stressful! Cos when you shoot, you're already thinking about how the hell are you going to piece them together later. -_- Love capturing the moments, as always.

*had to browse my gcal to check what actually happened..

During the beginning of the month, Rachel came to Singapore to visit us, all the way from Shanghai. Brought her to Brewerks @ Clarke Quay ( where else to go? )
Talked about wine, Hangzhou, New Zealand, Singapore, and everything else under the sun. Was pretty good to see a familiar face from Shanghai. Brought back some memories. But i guess we have to move on, Dee, right?

Had 2 great jamming sessions @ Shin Studio opposite Clarke Quay.
The acoustics there's much better than Beat Merchant. And when we say 1 o'clock, they don't ask stupid questions like, pm right ? -_- And bought some mooncakes. This year, I had a chance to devour mooncakes from Oversea Restaurant, Bakerzin, Raffles Hotel's, etc. But I spend the whole day home alone during the Mooncake festival. Haha. But it's all right.

And and and had a short great trip to Langkawi! Click here for select Langkawi photos! Took about 580 photos. Not bad for a 2 day trip. Will do one entry for the trip when I'm really free. It was great! The cable car was scary but exhilarating. The beach was pretty amazing, even with the dirty water and all. And the sunset was nice. Will not return there though. Will go redang next. Perhaps have to wait for the monsoon season to be over. As it was during the Ramadan month, most of the stalls and shops were closed during the day. But we had fun. Most things went well. Had a tour around the island, and to other islands as well. Snorkeled a bit. There was this weird Eagle feeding thingy. but it's amazing to see so many eagles flying in circles ready to do a -150° dive to get the chicken meat :\

And then we had our monthly Sausage Party. This time we had squid, fish, sausages duh, corn, sweet potatoes, marsh mallow, chicken wings.. i marinated most of the stuff myself. Went grocery shopping with Geoyi in the morning, and he helped picked the watermelon. Specifically seedless YEllow watermelon. At night, we had a great time with the two nephews joining in. Giving us more laughters, probably more than we have deserved judging from the fact that we were making fun of them a lot. Of course they don't understand the jokes. For example Mr. Aaron asked Gerald, Why are you so Emo. Haha. GOod stuff.

And then, not to forget, met up with Pdeep who came back from Cali! he got me a cap :D talked about the good old days, the future, emo over soya bean. it's been so long since i met him. Plan to visit him in 2010. Have a look at Silicon Valley. Too bad Eugene and Alexs couldn't joiPSSTn in that day. Had a lot of laughs. Gotta web-cam more often since now, we manage to get them to work.lol

That's my september for you. October has already come rolling in. And we would be celebrating X'mas in a blink. Let's accomplish something this month.

Oh and i got my hair dyed & hairlighted. which got me some mixed responses. Oh well. We only live once.

Dont want to sound too apologetic, but Im sorry that i have to ignore some of you on gchat or msn Sometimes i fell asleep with my computer On, sometimes i was just too busy to respond. Cos i dont want to engage you in a conversation just to end it abruptly. Will talk to you guys when i'm free-er okie :D meanwhile, Tweet on !

October promises more great shots, exciting journeys, & better jamming sessions.

The Mid - Raya Entry

2009-09-20T10:44:00.006+08:00

Assalaimualikum.

During this long weekend, some went to Malacca. Some went to Redang. And some went home. Some worked right through it without a pause. We look

With hundreds of accidents and jams equivalent to the great human movement in China during the Chinese New Year, I fear for those traveling along the North-South Highway in Malaysia during this weekend. It's never wise to travel during Raya Holidays as everybody is moving. Traveling back to their Kampung to celebrate with their families. And yes they are reckless. Though you might be the most careful law-abiding road user on the road, you gotta be observing those around you, for they are the ones who turn the road into a delicate and life threatening limbo competition.

My apologies for beginning this New Year's Celebration with a dark paragraph.

Anyway it's heartwarming to see the whole kommunity coming together, opening their doors for their open house events, and wearing all the glitter and shiny green outfits to visit their families and friends.

Have been thinking a lot about a lot of things lately. About weird siblings relationships. Some which i might never be able to grasp or understand in this lifetime, for I will never (touchwood) be able to experience a proper one. There's a reason why there was a show called "Malcolm in the middle". For it's true. That it's pretty complicated for the one in the middle. One has to try to impress the elder one while eating all the elder's shit. Simultaneously, the one in the middle has to act as a guardian to the little one. All these roles - sometimes contradict each other and might not be fulfilled properly.

I guess it's easy for me to say, but i guess it's all about balance. The key to a fulfilling life is to be able to kontrol and balance everything in an equilibrium. Or rather, most of us are already in this fight to balance everything. The things we eat. The amount of time we spend on the sofa kouch watching brainless shows. The amount of time we spend arguing with our loved ones over petty issues. The monies we spend on white elephants we put in the house. We try to be stay happy, gratified, to have a sense of satisfaction, only to regret later. It doesn't work this way.

What about family member's relationship dynamics ? Beginning with the nucleus family members. And then there's the extended family. And then there's the in-laws. The in-law's extended family. And then the family friends.

Not to say that i have the rights to judge. But i feel that emo guys should not let the world see them that way. Let's keep your emo side to your beer and bbq buddies, where you let it out. and hide the rest from the world. Cos it doesnt reflect well on your character and personality. Being sentimental does not necessarily mean e-m-o-t-i-o-n-a-l.

Talking about obesity and the eating culture. Firstly, we have to accept that our lifestyles have changed. Compared to 70's and 80's, where food is scarce, it's appropriate for people to greet "have you eaten?" when they meet anyone on the streets. The mindset, back then was your stomach shouldn't go empty. Now, we overeat, work at offices where we sit on our bums the whole day.. the guys don't have a chance to use their testosterone, to grit their teeth somewhere, to flex their muscle, to break a sweat at the fields. It's very important that the men at our times find an outlet to 'let go'. Find a jamming studio to sing out loud, play the song in deafening volume. Exercise. Cycle. Do something alone. Find some time for yourself. to chill.

I was also mouth watering over mooncakes which are very close to the heart - Oversea Mooncakes. Do try the Golden Starlight with non-baked skin. It will shoot you to the moon to say hi to the moon fairies. The Mid-autumn festival is just around the korner, and I believe the hotels and restaurants have already started pushing their sales. Every year, they try to be more creative and fusionise the mooncakes with weird flavours. Yuck.

Met up with Pdeep last week for short lunch. Good too see him doing well after 2 years in Cali ? He stys like a stone's throw away from IT giants. I envy him. haha. If i'm him, i would be making friends. lots of friends with the indians and programmers who work there ! It's so exciting. Seriously. I think i ought to / must find him at least once before he graduates. Perhaps 2010. So, for 2010, 2 destinations. Shanghai for expo 2010 and California ! These are two places I want to visit next year.

Lots of exciting things coming this way. BBQ next saturday. A wedding too. uhm. Tuition business.

Langkawi last weekend was damn cool ! Will do one entry on that when i'm free-er.

Waalaikumsalam.

The gayness of it all.

2009-09-02T02:38:00.006+08:00

the big kuestion : How would you take it if you found out that your child is gay ?

Would you love him/her as much? Would you be open minded enough to understand him/her? To see things from him/her perspective?

ok from here on, i shall replace the him/her thingy with a name. Let's use Agatha. Unisex.

You've fed Agatha for 21 years now. You love Agatha since birth. You want to konform to society's norm. You pray for a 'normal' family. But who are we to judge what's normal and what's not ? You bring Agatha to church, hoping to influence Agatha with the power of God. The more you push, the more you kontrol, the more the child'd sway.

So what would you do ? Strange topik - given it's close to 3am. I've always thought that we're all more educated and more open minded than the previous generation ( aka our beloved parents ) and i really assume that most of us, given the level of education we've attained, that we will learn not to generalise things ( ie people of certain race like to relak one korner and fish), or we learn to not judge someone by his/her colour/ sexual preference..

And we learn to be better parents. You know that they will imitate you, yet you smoke. You know they'll kopy what you say, yet you skold with reference to a woman's anatomy..

Gays and lesbians are humans too. Why not give the space and rights which they deserve / need ? Why must they fight to love ? Isn't the game of love complicated enough ? They deserve to be treated with respek too.

Most of us are fighting the war of life. Fighting with the weight. Stopping ourselves from eating too much. Pushing ourselves to go run. Kick ourselves out of bed to get some things done, just to realise that at midnight, you can't sleep even though the headache had been killing you all day. Building a better relationship with the neighbour, the parents, the long lost buddy, the buddies, the chicken rice stall auntie, the paper boy.

We're all fighting. If we're all fighting this war together, then why give each other a hard time ?

Saw this video by 15Malaysia about Islam. Believers believe that when they die, they can't bring any kurrency or monies or gold bar with them. The only thing which they have, is the merit which they have akumulated when they were alive. The merit will determine how wealthy they are. I find it pretty inspiring.

Do a good deed today. Make the fucking world a better place.

Bip me when September calls

2009-08-23T21:09:00.013+08:00

Past few weeks have whizzed past so quickly, and all that i can remember was motion-blurred with the photoshop filter. The meetings, the touch-n-go catch up sessions, the lunches, the midnight running sessions, the frustrating cab rides, the bus rides which took few light years, meetings in the east, lunch skippin', dinner binging, midnight snackin'..

And there was the crazy conversations with my mum. argh. as always, it's frustrating. she knows best. Anyway, met up with sylvia and michelle! and got a white t-shirt and some 太阳饼 from taiwan.. Ajisen's noodles are good!

Caught Aliens in the attic. Family show. Produced by Regency ( think alvin and chipmunks,marley and me,epic movie).. it's not bad, the storyline doesnt make much sense but oh well, it's for entertainment anyway. Paid for a laugh. The caramel popcorn was not nice. haha.

Got a flu scare (again) last week, popped panadols and decolgen, and some flu medicine found in the kitchen cabinet. Was down for 3 days. In and out of consciousness.

Went to the Gardentech@hortpark last last week i think. Saw a lot of exhibitors and plants' enthusiasts. Saw some tractors and other cute heavy machineries too. Walked from Mount Faber to Hort Park via the henderson waves, etc. Pretty good work out.

Also went to Tanjong and Pahlawan Beach to get some night wind. First time there, and I got that cold i mentioned on top. Cos i fell asleep in middle of the bridge for 1 hour i think. But it was good listening to the sea slapping the beach and the howling wind, not to mention the multi-coloured lights from ships! and the occasional fly-bys.

August is over. and September comes barging without a warning. Let's embrace the shock and fire up our twin turbine engine and fly high into the winds of hope and great success.

Half Life

2009-08-15T14:03:00.003+08:00

And so, when you approached half life, you wonder, what have you accomplished all these years, what else can you do, how many souls have you touched, how much have you made, oh never mind. Not all of you ponder about those, at least not openly.

Past few weeks have been very exhilarating, with so many opportunities, challenges, and joy, and pain simultaneously. Birthday was great with the guys, din have bbq cos din have the opportunity to book the pits. Thanks Alexseah for the makan tour in Chinatown. haha. mango-fied. Thanks gary for the cake ! and dee leen katia bel gret aaron and renzhi for turning up la :D

Just like funerals, birthdays are just excusea for close ones to break away from their usual schedule, and get together, to reassure each other that they still have each other, and they're still connected, somehow, not just via facebook. The wall, was flooded by well wishes by close friends, long lost friends, online friends, and family. It's heartwarming, though nothing beats a phone call.

NDP 2009 was great, as usual. Thought that the fireworks were not as great as previous years'.Was watching it, with Red Cliff 2 playing on my laptop. And i broke a mindsweeper record too :D

The only card i got this year was hand-drawn, though a bit ugly with 2 balloons, cos it's obviously a rush job, I felt the love. The only gift which I got was a trip to langkawi, haha, looking forward to takin a break, and going back there after 15 years. Oh, and not to mention the sweet short trip to the beach with my good friend. Fell asleep on the bridge and caught a cold.

Amidst flops, we too seize the opportunity to perform better than expected. When your friends' trust, hopes and words are at stake, we push ourselves beyond the comfort zone, beyond what we have to do, to what we hope need not do, and then we hit a whole new level altogether.

Popped 12 panadols yesterday, woke up with mucus, thought it was ok already, but now it's back. Damn it. Should've continued to pop em pills.

It took me 10 years to find what I really want to become. A titanium robot.

I stared at God in the eyes and begged for mercy.

2009-07-29T15:15:00.004+08:00

2 lines in perfect Parallel. Means they will never meet.

But always next to each other. Supporting each other. Fending off enemies. Together they morph into a very formidable twiners. Seem unbreakable. Seem so strong. Double Trouble.

The power of two. Google by Larry Page and Sergey Brin. Youtube by Chad and Steve. Sun by Jerry Yang and David Filo. Microsoft by Bill Gates and Paul Allen. Saatchi and Saatchi by Saatchi and Saatchi. Duh. And there're a lot of other corporations which were founded by two persons.

It seems that we can compliment each other with different skill set and personality, and a whole lot of other things. Personally I feel there will be someone there to support you. When you screw things up so bad, you know he's there to clear your shit.

For example, one human, and the other - a robot. And the other - an accountant.

We don't argue not because we're thinking alike. But we don't argue because we make sense to each other. Because we embrace new ideas, accept new suggestions, take in feedback, because we understand each other. Sometimes we argue till our faces turn red, our heads become so hot, and then we chill with an apple pie.

Sometimes, in this lifetime of 70 ( if u're lucky ), you wonder how many lives can you transform, how many souls can you touch, how much can you make ? We're trying to be happy. But we became wary and exhausted trying to be happy. We just don't get it, do we ? We shun our family and friends just to make a few more buck To be recognized. to feel the respect. The choice is always there. We get to choose. It's bullshit if you tell me 'i don't have a choice'. It's the society. It's my parents. It's him, not me. It's her, not me.

Screwed up a project last week. And it taught me so much. About work. About myself. About life. About my pillar of support.

We'll grow stronger from this i guess.

Let me take some of the punches for u tonite.

2009-07-23T11:01:00.004+08:00

And so yesterday, my good friend pondered aloud in front of me. It was before we met the client, and when we were suppose to be discussing about the project, he told me - Can you imagine if i die ?

How will you live ? Who would call you ? You imagine, going to the address book of your phone, and there it is, my name, but you won't be able to call me anymore. It will be lonely, and painful, i guess.

So yesterday he decided to love life more, and to appreciate the ppl around him more. Not that I never go emo, but i hope to say that i have learnt to control when and where I can emo. And i think yesterday was not the right time. Bloody hell. "i think im gg to die younger than you"

I think it's damn inappropriate. So we moved on to other topics - like how ppl are so selfish when they commit suicide, leaving behind everyone, who will mourn over you. And then, we discussed about how we can leave a legacy in this world, and the only easy way is to have a child. Haha.

Not sure why am i blogging this. He's a mind-fucker. A classic one. He's a natural.

Now that im out of it, i find it amusing when couples tell each other 'forever and ever' or 'eternally ever after'. Is there such a thing ?

New this week :
- Rob Thomas' new album
- another set of sex photos leaked in sg
- new toner for my laser printer
- caught up with some noc friends @ boat quay
- checked out starhub&singtel's data plan for iphone/bb
- tied down hoovix© launch plan
- Bought Decolgen
- started using my bluetooth headset again. cos the stupid e61i's volume is damn soft
- got excited over shanghai in Oct. Gary, MAYBE only.

Alright. time to bounce :D

Mid July update

2009-07-19T10:16:00.008+08:00

Pretty apt don't you think. Gary keep bugging me to update, and here i am, WAITING for him @ sengkang, and typing this. hiakhiak. ok i have to confess. i think he spent at least 3 hours in his life waiting for me, discounting his travelling time etc. haha. but i have changed ! :)

oh wells. of the thousands of thoughts that blitzed through my mind daily, i tweet'ed about a hundred of them, and the rest were verbally communicated, some via body language, others converted into dreams, nightmares, love letters, postcards, designs. In short, the ideas were usually successfully let out of the brain through one form or another.

So. What happened in the past 2 weeks ? Komencement? It was great. Damon took most of the 248 pictures. It's a lot considering we were only there for 30 min or so. So it was just non-stop snappin. Moments can only be frozen forever if you capture it with your pinhole camera. The detais. The scent. The noise. The sweat. Not sure about you, but I can remember some moments very clearly. It's like a mental photograph. A scene in a movie. In slo-mo. ie i can remember the first time phillane and i went on a cab to meet the client at robinsons. Everytime i scratch the itch caused by mosquito bites, i was teleported back to Mexico. When I jog at night, it was as if I was young again, back in NUS, juggling the studies, the freelance projects. Just examples of how I involuntarily drown in my own pool of past memories.

So. Komensment was over. Realised i actually have more friends than I thought. Though Hi-bye ones, but they count. haha. I thought i have like 10. but eventually i think my counter reached 15. there's nothing much to write about actually. im just damn relieved it's over. Now that it's 'out of the way', i shall burn the transcripts ( Gary, too late ) and just staple the official certificate together with my diploma. I wonder where is it now. let's hope i dun need to take them out anytime soon.

Neways, past 2 weeks have been busy, as usual. Weekly WIP Meetings with current clients, had a meeting with a prospective client, caught up with alex seah who just graduated from Melbourne. Had a game of pool with him. We din play for at least a year already. :) Talked about the future. He'll be on board temporarily, i'm glad. Cos now i'm at 85% capacity, with just 1 day a week to slack. And hell Im stressed. Have been getting nightmares of my lungs missin' and the inability to breathe no matter how hard i try. haha. Anyway have gotten used to it.

Previously, I usually have 2-3 projects to juggle. But now I have like 5 external ones, and 2 internal ones, and also the building of the core company structure and policies etc.. Thanks Gary for helping lighten the load, and soon, AlexSeah. We'll get all the paperwork of the company done by end of the month. let's hope this streak continues. Should be locking down 2 more projects over the next 2 weeks. Won't have a break till August ends. And then should be having a break in September.

So "wake me up when september ends" would be our next song to be covered. In the studio, the band has been progressing well,with weekly practice sessions, and the morale has been high ! And i think me as the bassist has grown a little too, not like last year, when i felt I was dragging the band down. Now i can feel it better :) Still have not found the time to fix my bass. argh

Have been lifting dumb bells, running, but not eating right, yet. haha.

So what's for next 2 weeks ? More meetings, harry potter, transport piano, more running, lunch meetups, brief alexseah, see bicycle, prepare Hoovix's Launch, settle company structure,wrap up 2 projects, get more t-shirts before GSS ends, another pool session with Alexs again i guess, meet up with Max at his house. Yup.

NAH. UPDATE.

I was here. indeed.

2009-07-16T00:12:00.013+08:00

As students, we enjoy the immunity and support of the society ( to a certain extend ) and we have certainly used it to our advantages. We started doing our small business in Poly back in 2003, and oh my were we protected and 'incubated' from the outside world. All faults, mistakes, errors, whether intended or otherwise, were punished only lightly, and most of the time, they closed one eye on us. The paint. The pranks. The balloons. The Atrium. The tears. The love.

It's weird. Why would the neurons link my NUS commencement back to my poly days? Oh wells. Perhaps it's the same feeling. To be honest, i din feel the rush. at all. I was just thinking about the 'jungle' as what Kai put it. About the business.

Like any other good short stories, this one, too has a few climaxes, which I would be remembering ( i think ) till the end of (my) time. The journey in NUS has been memorable. It's not so much academically, but rather everything outside of the classrooms. Of course, within the lecture theaters, I have learnt so much. Even within the LT's, there's things you learnt, which can be learnt in the textbooks, others, you simply follow and pick up along the way.

For example, the way professors present themselves, and how they do their little dance and public speaking in front of us every week. How part time tutors try to juggle their other full time jobs, how Master students try to communicate with us during econ classes ( they simply can't simplify, they're intelligent, and smart, but they have to improve on their teaching skills ). It's like they're already running for the olympics, and they're given the task of teaching us how to crawl. Sometimes they simply couldn't make the idea simpler. Teachers might not need to be a novel prize winner. All they need to be are good communicators, and see things the way we do.

For poly, the pinnacle was of course the lil start up company which was doing events, and also, the complete change of mindset from trying to be an electrical engineer ( childhood dream ) to trying to be a successful entrepreneur. The people I met along the way were FANTASTIC, and have been my most valuable asset. They would help me all the way till today, even when i was in NUS. One gave me my first web design job, one gave my company tickets to Anthony Robbins Live, some supported me spiritually and financially etc.

For NUS, I spent my first 2 years hopping between CCAs. I took up Bowling, which i enjoyed so much ( spinners rock). While Alex Seah, Jesica and Cindy were still around, we would meet up EVERY weekend for brainstorming sessions, proposals discussions, and trying to start something. We ended SGeventors in 2004, and we felt that it has been too long since we started something. Therefore we were eager. We submitted our proposal for funding but were rejected. We tried turning back to Ngee Ann Poly but we were no longer welcomed there. Me in NUS was not that welcomed, as I was not close to NUS Entreprise ppl ( they control the funding ). Therefore we spent a good year brainstorming ideas, discussing business at KFC's, Mcd's, Subway etc. If you have read the Outliers, i believe that's where we got our 15,000 hours from. Hopefully we can make use of it.

So I was also playing a lot of games ( PC ). I regret it now. I mean, the web design skills which I have gotten, have been with me since Poly days, thanks to pardeep. But i din do ANYTHING about it. I din think i could freelance, as I wasnt confident enough. etc.

So after dingdonging for 2 years. Finally I was lucky enough to be chosen for NOC Shanghai. Another turning point. I was attached to AKQA, and the confidence sky rocketed, my skillset quadrupled, found some soulmates, I know what i want ( before that, i already know i want to start on my own, but dunno what yet ), and then, i thought i found the love of my life, and that motivated me to do things i have never done before. I pushed myself. I broke down. And then it was over. Everything. The exams. The projects. The late nights. And then I pulled myself back together. And Hoovix came about. We had this name since 2005. It's finally realised. I told a lot of people, my classes have always been in the way. I am glad it's over. No more classes. No more books.

So, i was here. In NUS for 3 years. My parents are proud. I think they're relieved that it's finally over.

You know, now every morning, i wake up with a purpose. A clear one. I dreaded waking up last time back in Uni. WOOHOO. IT"S OVER ! YAY !

All things digital.

2005 - 2009 * Pre-commencement

2009-07-05T18:03:00.023+08:00

And so commencement is next week. Average waiting time was about 4 years. I can't wait to graduate the moment I entered the school. Cos i believe that the uni education gives us more than just academic intelligence.

How many lectures have I skipped during this 4 years? A lot.
How many 'friends / acquaintances / hi-byes / professors-friends / bffs' have I known from there? More than I can remember. Perhaps I have no position to say that the 28k package which we bought was just a piece of paper, cos my results suck so much. At one point in time ( not too long ago ) i thought i would drop out. Ha ha. Yes! And so, i'm not very proud of what i did back in NUS. What's the ups and downs?

***post truncated by blogspot***

reset | retry | restart | reinstall | restore

2009-07-03T11:20:00.005+08:00

How many times, in the course of our lifetime, would we wish that we could just lie in bed, punch the hard reset button and the next day shall start afresh? No, i'm not referring to the times when we regret doing certain things and we would stare at the blank space dwelling in our own sorrow pits of self pitiness.

It's different. This is like you know that even if you apologize a thousand times, or you try very hard you know you can't change the situation anymore. Therefore you pray for a reset. They call it a fresh start. In the world of 1's and 0's, we call it reset. Reset all the 0's.

Today i'll have 5 meetings in a row. One internal and others are with clients. Back to back. Running around a bit. Ran a little yesterday. Surprisingly there's no ache. erm, was thinking about where will I be 5 / 10 years from now myself, after asking Damon about it the day before yesterday.

Anyway was glad that the client liked the interactive demo and we really hope that we can secure the project. was also trying to figure how to deliver an iphone app to a client back in Shanghai. Erm, trying to get our internal projects running as well. Have not have the time to work on them as we're busy with clients.

Transformers 2 was disappointing. Not as disappointing as Terminator 4 though. Ya, it's pretty cool, the technology involved, how the US gov tried to show off their arsenal of military capabilities, of course Megan Fox was hot, after you stare at her for more 15 seconds, she started looking like a man, or would she transform into T-X.. that's the problem when you watch 2 sci-fi movies that's both surreal. One talks about the history, how the earth was formed.. the other talks about the future. Hmm. It's all too cliche, I feel. How the red led in the robot's eyes fade off to nothing, to show that it died. And Transformers 2 ended without a ultimate fight. And there's no longer the wow factor. Not going to be describe in detail as I think some havent catch it yet.

Perhaps i should watch Ice age 1 and 2, then watch 3. ha ha. And i just got a confirmation from my friend tat he's giving me 3 NDP Preview tickets ! Yay ! Last time i went was in 2006 ? the last one at Padang. And last night i heard Hardy singing " What do i see, i see the moon and the stars " i think it's not bad. Every NDP Music video has almost the same imagery, young kids, multi racial, running, singing, clapping, dancing, united. Oh well. Not sure how else to present it too.

aite. till next time. just a word on why transformers 2 sucked. pardon me if you think ya, the CG was wow. how long they need to render the transformation scene etc. Basically trust me - i have read a lot about that, and i know that they have server farms rendering a scene at full capacity, and it still take no less than 5 days. I know bout the egypt scene where they set the explosives for days, and how michael bay garnered his contacts and brought in helis, carriers, predators, etc, and i certainly can tell, that megan is hot.

But those things just don't cut it anymore. The characters are almost the same as the first installment. The script is not fantastic. The punchlines are not cool. Hmm. During the first one, we saw how the lousy ford transformed into a mustang. And we were awwed. Not in this one. All are too familiar. The robots - hmm. Nothing new. Like what the newspapers said - it's louder, bigger, but is it necesarilly better ? I think they squeezed too much into a 150 min show.

Well all that being said, i wont mind watching it again on the small screen. ha

2009-07-02T11:21:00.008+08:00

Week summary.

2009-06-28T12:49:00.004+08:00

Past down:
Caught up with a few people, was swamped with work, finished Office Season 2, signed a new project, started on a new book, got my pay, had a 4-men BBQ (http://tinyurl.com/ls6k92), jammed our hearts(and lungs) out, went for a few meetings, went back to school, felt content with what i have, though it's not a lot.

Next up:
Send ppl off, collect graduation gown, watch transformers? , ALexseah is coming back!, Gary's laopo coming!, a few meetings here and there, check out new jeans, finish up the book, start on a new book, collect namecards, checkout piano, have a haircut

We have passed the mid year point, and should be having mooncakes soon. Commencement like very soon. a bit nervous. company foundation is being erected very quickly. Finally alexseah is really coming back soon, then we can finalise everything.

Tt's all for now. gotta go catch Michael Jackson on CNN.

Michael Jackson, if you can't Beat It, Burn This Disco Out

2009-06-26T18:30:00.006+08:00

What a pity. We grew up with gay boybands like backstreet boys and westlife, and we were late, cos we let other great artists like Michael Jackson ( 1958 - 2009 ), Elvis, Beatles, BeeGees, Red Hot chilli peppers and the likes, took the the world by storm, and grip it by its throat. People cry for mercy.

Cos their music were so revolutionary, his dance move so additively synchronised, their guitar skills so godly, that the world's jaws dropped and prayed to them like they were their savior.

And today, i realised the power of Twitter when I was still in bed at about 8.05, and I checked tweets from my phone. And I woke up immediately. and apparently everybody has already begun mourning.

3 months ago , I was just compiling all his albums, cos it has been a while since I listened to them.

[1979] Off The Wall
[1982] Thriller
[1987] Bad
[1991] Dangerous
[1995] HIStory
[1997] Blood On The Dance Floor
[2001] Invincible

Even got some 'demo' and unreleased songs. And the legend is gone. As far as I can remember, without wiki-ing it, he performed in Malaysia back in 1997, he went through bankruptcy, a few lawsuits, he sold Neverland Ranch, romoured to have Skin cancer, gone through numerous plastic surgery ( duh ), wanted to do a comeback concert earlier this year in UK, the tickets were sold out and they have to extend a few more nights. And then the concert was cancelled..

the point is, he din leave a good taste in everybody's mouth. A few people I talked to today, were not that emotional about it. haha. oh well. but generally we remember his as the King. There's this theory in HR, that's called the Halo Effect, and it says
if you do 10 good things, and just one bad thing, everybody will remember the ? The bad thing.
If you do 10 bad things, and just one good thing, everybody will remember the good thing.

Of course, you can't really control what is the last thing ppl hear of you? that's why it's scary.
That's why we try to maintain an image in front of others, and it's roughly called 'acting'.

That's why it's dangerous to judge others so quickly, and there's never black or white in life.

Gotta change the Man in the Mirror if you want to change the world.

Do you think MJ will rock the heaven or hell ?

How will we grow old ?

2009-06-24T23:12:00.004+08:00

Oh wells.

The day started with my long trip back home from Woodlands. Stopped by Starbucks for a hot Mocha and then bought lunch back. Today was ok. Rushed all my work before crashing at about 5 pm till about 7. Skipped lunch. Too shagged out to eat. Last night was terrible. Slept at 3, woke up at 6, and then drifting in and out of sleep till 8.

Along the way, I was in this bus full of seniors. 90% of them are like above 50 years of age.
And I actually thought of how they struggle with the digital age. The information age. I guess it's tough for them to accept our laptops communicating wirelessly to this thing called the internet. And of course how we don't watch tv that much anymore, because we do it on our 'computers'.

Do you think we'll be as stubborn as them? Be as grumpy as them? It's sad innit. To be old and not useful anymore. Can't contribute much to the society as we become so weak. Younger ones shuffle in and out of their lives searching for meaning, effectively neglecting those who brought them into this world, of hard knocks.

Will we still tweet and be so addicted to our laptops and mobiles? Will we update our blog entries when we're old? With technology, can we connect a portable device so that we can be connected 24-7 to our parents? With it, may we be granted the permission to not need to visit them anymore?

Like I said, it's sad. Oh wells. Will we be as close minded as the previous generation? Given that we see more, we hear more, we're better educated, better informed?

What is this happyness which most of us are trying to achieve? What's this satisfaction which makes us so hungry and depressed all the time? What makes most elderly people's face sour by default?

I guess we're all trying. Trying hard in this life. All of us are trying to strive. So i guess try not to be too hard on your neighbours, friends, or even your children. They too have the rights to be happy, right?

Out.

Appointments

2009-06-22T23:26:00.005+08:00

Saturday
Bought 2 new books on Saturday. Outliers. Bourne Betrayal.
Sang karaoke for the first time ever since I came back from New York.
And we went all awww when we sang songs that reminded us of Shanghai.
May i steal the list from gary's blog

1. 拥抱 - 五月天 2. 私奔到月球 - 五月天 3. 彩虹 - 周杰伦 4. 不能说的秘密 - 周杰伦 5. 回到过去 - 周杰伦

Sunday
Jammed for 3 hours instead of 2.
@ this new studio at ClarkeQuay instead of BeatMerchant@bugis.
Dani California sounded good but there's still room for improvement.
Closer always sounded like shit. Perhaps that song was cursed.
With or without you was always emotional.
Replaced all the strings for my guitar.
Gotta send in the bass for repair.

Monday
And it's all monday again
woke up with blood shot eyes.
settled one client. worked on internal projects. Company direction.
Skipped Lunch.
Came back Woodlands. Dinner was simple yet deceptively delicious.
Ate with nephew. Discussed BurnOut Tactics.

Tuesday
Meeting with Gary. Dinner with Claudia.

Wed
No meetings on the horizon yet.

Thursday
Meeting long time client@citylink, Starbucks.
Having weekly WIP@Tcc PS.

Friday
Transformers ?

Saturday
Breakfast with Dawn
BBQ@woodlands, sausage party

This is my typical week. Not really exciting is it?

not all are lost, at least

2009-06-16T06:51:00.011+08:00

i remembered exactly when i watched Terminator 3. it was back in 2003, and my supposedly best friend just came to singapore, and we met up to catch up etc. we watched it at Jurong East Entertainment centre. Sitting on the left left middle row. he was back in jc then, while i was in poly. we watched Terminator 2 together when we were younger. and of course, sneakily watched Terminator 1 because of the sex scene.

And here i am, 6 years later, watching with an entire different group of good friends, so much have changed. 6 years have zoomed past me. What have i achieved ? Oh we'll leave that for another entry. With such a big graphics of T4 above, there's no monies for guessing what im going to blog about today.

Why is the terminator series my childhood favorite? oh well. im nt sure. when liquid metal appeared in T2, when the cool punch lines kickd in, it makes you felt ( still does ) good. after you watch it, as a kid, you act like YOU are from the future, on some mission, trying to save the world. Or you play pretend, pretending to be John Connor. Imagining/hoping/praying/hallucinating that you'll grow up to be someone important, and in this case, the leader of mankind.

when t3 was released, i thought it has lost it, a little, but it was still good. there's still element of surprise in the bad vs good terminator, we were strapped to our seats to find out what are the capabilities of Kristanna Loken. the script was not bad either, with lots of very good punchlines. watch it and you'll get what i mean. T4's punchlines are nothing compared to the previous T's. Nothing new. They just replay "i'll be back" etc. hmm.

Compliments for the CGI? But oh wells. after reading about it on Wired, you already know what to expect. Basically they upgraded almost all the studio hardware to make this movie. Come on. Nothing breathtaking. Give me a torn down New York City like in "i am legend" or "the day after tomorrow" and that gave me a wow. other than that, cool flying machines, deserts are just so common these days.

i feel the show is so drab, and so so draggy. I yawned 4 times. I kept fidgeting. OH my. the director spends almost half the movie focusing on the terminator which thought it's human. Too many unexplained questions. Would have to watch it again to pinpoint the parts.

oh wells. The theme song still had the punch. I have the orchestra OST for T2 and T3. It would teleport you right back into the movie when you listen.

I won't catch Terminator 5 - Terminator 6 that's for sure. Cos human can never win. He can fight the robots till his wheener falls off, but each installment would just end with
A
"We might have won this battle, but skynet remains strong. We will continue to fight *Cue theme song . This is John Connor."

or
B
"I am the leader of the resistance. We shall continue to fight. This is John Connor"

Choose.

2 out of 5 popcorns for Terminator 4 :
Ben Stiller who recently has been called the Franchise king grossed more money with night of the museum 2 than Terminator 4.

And so, The Terminator Series couldn't salvage itself with Batman as John Connor.

Transformers : Revenge of the Fallen is next. let's hope michael bay doesnt mess it up before the fourth installment.

Hasta la Vista, Baby.

my 38.6°C Hug with the devil

2009-06-12T00:20:00.002+08:00

oh well, i woke up at 6 am and realised that i'm feeling funny. it wasnt the usual headache nor achy body. there was something else. My throat felt damn painful and i couldnt breathe. Well, still ok. I began to do some work. Not till 8.30 am when I really felt unwell. I slept for 2 more hours before gg to the docs at about 1pm. oh wells, everything was now. Just a frightening experience. When you have a fever, you start to click on h1n1 links from the school, read more, read a lot more, and you think, nah. i'm not that lucky. In the end, it turned out ok, but i lose one whole work day. Can't remember when was the last time I got bed ridden till this bad. Oh wells. It got me thinking. Today was by far the most productive day, i would say, in these few weeks. When you're sick, and lying in bed the whole day, your mind has no where to run, other than towards worries and high quality imaginations. What would you do if you were to die tomorrow? What happens to your family ? Your friends? Your clients? Who would understand your codes? Who could take over the mess? And then came hope and vows. What would you do if you have the strength and life? Would you go running ? Would you go smell the green grass and the air outside ? Would you be falling in love and making someone's day ? Will you try to make yourself look better by exercising more? Oh wells. It's true. You will never appreciate what you have till it's gone. Especially when they come free. Taking things for granted is our biggest crime.

Food for thought ( SGD $24.95 )

2009-06-05T01:48:00.002+08:00

Not too long ago, I was listening to some entrepreneur trying to justify why he's charging a (high) price for something which is free. So the theory goes: There's a price for everything. In school, learn about WTP ( willingness-to-pay ), price elasticity, price discrimination and a LOT of other price related modules. There was even a module on How to Price, alone. Well, the truth is, how does a company price a mouse at SGD 17.90? So there's the retailers, manufacturers, designers, wholesalers, etc who will take a piece of the pie. So when you pay 17.90, the hardware itself costs about $2.50 max, and the rest will be distributed ( most of the time not evenly ) across the supply chain. There's also the competitors' pricing which we have to take note of, and how much the market is willing to pay, and there will be some outliers (either ignorant or believe in equating price to quality ) who are willing to pay more than whatever we charge. So we come up with strategies such as price discrimination tactics to try to figure the different segments of the market. So we have cheap expo warehouse sales, where those who are willing to travel, squeeze, fight, quarrel, wake up early, queue, would look out for those.. There will be those who simply don't have the time to look around, who will snap up whatever that meets their eyes. Price. Everyone has it. Everybody has a price attached to them. For those who believe that they can't be bought, either have not met the right buyer, not found the right price, or simply haven't found themselves, yet. Like what Gallup Consulting asked my friend, tell us your value. State your price. Back to the entrepreneur's story. Well, he said that the reason why he charged $1000 for a $25 item ( or even free from monetary point of view ), is because people appreciate the item more, and put in more effort if they pay for it. For example, my friend thinks she would go to the gym regularly if she pays for the California Fitness package. This psychology works, if they're paying for it. For example, a university student would not feel the pinch, and not study hard, because he/she doesn't pay for it. That's why a lot of night classes students study harder, and more religiously than full time undergraduates. This is because they have more to lose. An old (age and duration)of mine has 3 kids and a wife, and he studied 7 years at SIM for a diploma. I have never seen anyone so hardworking before.

I wonder if we would love/live/appreciate/enjoy our lives more, if we were to work for it. As in, imagine, we are all blips of life, in this gigantic hall, and we have to bid against each other, in order for us to have a chance to be born into a family. And the money which we won our lives, would have to be settled when we actually live, not by $, but by the amount of deeds we do in this world. Or by how much we make full use of life itself.

If you cant win a bid, you will stay as a blip of light. Blinking, emotionless, lifeless, motionless, forever staying as a flash of light.

Most of us are not happy. We're searching for something. Most of the time, we don't even know what the fuck we're searching for. But we remain unhappy, and lifeless, complaining day in day out. Trying to find something which is right in front of us. Life itself.

If you have lost a close family member before, you will know how to appreciate life. When you're at the brink of death, that's when you wake up and wonder, why have I not been living the life which I have been dreaming of? What's stopping me?

It's never too late. It's now or never.

Don't let the people around you push you down. Don't let them judge you, and tell you it's too late.

Cos it's never too late. Till you die. If you're reading this now, most probably you're alive and still kicking.

Everyone, no matter how insignificant they think they are, can make a difference.

Touch a life. Feel a soul. Help a friend. Know your price.

This day : mucus was free

2009-06-01T00:40:00.005+08:00

I was at home the whole day, and there was a funeral nearby. I din go back Woodlands today, so i din get my swim, but I did force myself to do a bit of push&sit ups. Well, i have to run EVERYDAY and consume less food. That's the only way which I can lose my weight. It's dreadful. I stare at my big tummy and I don't feel like eating at all.

Because of the stagnant air and all, I had a bit of a cold. Hmm. From my analysis, I concluded that the air plus the closed windows, and the periodic aircon killed me today. Mucus was literally dripping from my nose nonstop. i wonder how many litres of liquid I lost today.

But well, i am okay already. The hot drinks helped. The cold drinks helped. Gotta stock up the first aid kit with panadols, clarinese, and err, eno-s.

Anyway, while wiping the mucus and all, i was working the whole day, and so was Pheephee. Her status "I wana go home" has been around since forever, and the ironic thing is, mine was "i wana work outside". So, both of us were working on a Sunday, and well, but the motivation was very different. Pfft. That's just a reaffirmation for me - that's why i dont want to work for someone else.

Cos if you work on a Sunday, you know you're building something here. Not slogging for some ungrateful boss, building others' empires.

My friend got into a motorbike accident today. Another friend's grandma was hospitalised. Sometimes these incidents jolt us to care for what's really important and live life meaningfully. I pray, to any God who will listen to me, to please, please bless them. Hopefully he will recover soon, and she, be able to see her for one last time.

Made some progress in our projects today, and din waste too much time. It's 1st of June 2009. It's a new month, not marred by exams, and there's going to be a new dawn tomorrow. I'm excited. I considered myself starting work officially tomorrow. Working from home that is. I shall have a good work play balance, and sleep normal hours.

Everything is moving as planned, and I shall focus.

5 kgs, first. and then, another 5. That's the plan.

Don't be evil.

2009-05-30T22:15:00.004+08:00

Today Gary and I signed up for this Google workshop, and they talked about Search Engine Optimisation, the power of adwords, and a slew of other free Google tools. Did i mention freeeeeee?

Oh wells. As our client just asked if we can do it on Tuesday, and we told them that we would be compiling a proposal right away. And after today, we're even more confident that we can do it.

From this week onwards, we shall be having our internal WIP and to-do list, and I shall submit a weekly report to Gary at the end of every week. This is because I realise that I have yet to optimise my time when I work at home. My sleeping timing has been screwed up since forever, and I feel that I need to have a good work life balance. That means having enough hours of sleep ( 5 at most ) and a bit of time to de-stress, socialise and of course exercise. My weight has gone out of hand, due to this

How many times have we let opportunities pass us by, because of our ego? Pride. Because we think we're better than that. Because we think we're so superior and good. Relationships. Work. Even in school. There are a lot of times when we choose not to back down, to step back, to say that we're sorry. To admit our mistakes. To be more apologetic. To be harder on ourselves. I say we only live once. And if it's sad if we just let those moments pass us by, and then we regret we din do anything about it. Sigh. Therefore, ask the question. Raise that hand. Stir the mix. Rock the boat. Ask the girl out. Get a life. Start that company. Do something. It's better to have been there done that and fail, than to talk about it all day, and die with knots in your heart, knowing that you could have done better.

Yesterday, I sort of celebrated my graduation with a treat by Cindy at Bakerzin. I can vaguely remember the day which I got into NUS, in 2005, after Ngee Ann Polytechnic. I never thought I would come into NUS Business School. This is all thanks to Mr. Peter Tang from NP, who guided me into the right path, to request for an interview etc. Due to my minor achievements with SGEventors together with Eugene Heng, Cindy, Pardeep and Alex Seah, I manage to secure my place in NUS BBA. It was a dream come true, considering how i was pt down by my mum back in around 1998, when we were in Orchard and I told her I'll study here one day. Given my poor results and my interest in all other things other than the textbooks, she managed to extrapolate them and she said i will never make it.

I surprised myself, and whole lot of other people. And now, i can say it's nothing. Getting a degree is nothing, if you have gotten one, and you don't know how many others are fighting to get it. I know the value, and I know that I should have studied harder. If i get a chance to relive my NUS life again, I would study harder. Haha. Maybe not. Maybe wont waste my time playing so many games. I remembered there was this one semester when Need For Speed Underground was launched few days right before my first paper, and I finished it before my first paper. Lol. That's when you have hardcore gamers as cluster mates. Haha.

And so, that journey has ended, and I am excited. People say don't be too anxious to step into the working world. I say I jumped in long time ago, and now i'm just doing it full time. Without distractions. Without exams. without the travelling. without the pressure of school :D I am loving it. Meet new clients. Solve their problems. See new business opportunities. I hope this enthutiasm never dies. but then , i have felt this way since 2004. So i doubt it will :D Just need nudge sometimes. U know what i mean. like i am enthu, but i work best with a partner, and currently that partner is Gary. When AlexS comes back in July, I will enjoy another familiar aura. Can't wait.

And so, a friend wrote something about love and i feel that it's very well written. I think it's very common for girls to want to find a guy who loves them more than they do. It's because they want the security, and the assurance that he will be there. They need to know that they can trust them with their life. Fair enough. I think this is fair enough, for girls who are looking for someone to marry. Who wants to find life partners. Who are not out looking for flings. Come on. Don't lie to yourself. Don't talk bout the future, marriage, kids and retirement if you're on a fling. Don't break ppl's hearts and souls.

Have you ever been in a relationship where the future seemed so bright ? The wedding day. The house. The decorations. The details. The fabric of the bedsheets. The windows curtains. The children. The in-laws. The cousins. The mothers. The plan about the future. together.

I had it all not too long ago.

Today i had a glimpse of it again. At Novena Square. everywhere I looked, i saw parents with kids. and gary was talking to his would be wife. Ha. I smiled. I managed to imagine myself in their shoes in a split second. Kids and all. And then i snapped myself back to reality. I whispered to myself : perhaps not in this lifetime.

Oh well. Was at jurong point yesterday, and i observed a very different segment of society. That group of people are mostly single, and they seem so unhappy. Why?

Haha. Love, like any other powerful weapons, is a double edged sword.

It's perhaps, really a learning process. Hopefully we dun take too many lessons to learn though.

the secret life of ants.

2009-05-25T00:43:00.005+08:00

I added the first few paragraphs after I finished the blog. Because I forgot to write my reflection. I feel that love is fragile. Most couples stay together with each other because of many many other reasons other than they love each other. Ironic isnt it. But it's true.

And the key thing is that they stay together. Whatever the reason may be.
They have each other.

so...where do i start?

For 2 weeks, Gary and i fought the odds and brought the ball back to our court at the last quarter, and we won it. we were overwhelmed with joy. disbelief? not really. we knew we had it after the 2nd meeting with the client. After the mock-ups were presented during the 2nd meeting, we knew we had the edge. Ego boost for me, assurance for Gary, confidence for the clients. after the meeting, we did a hi-5 and we smiled. And we continued smiling.

So what is this project about? it's going to be a cutting edge e-commerce site which integrates harmoniously with a Facebook Application. It's going to last 2 months, it's going to be exciting, and it's going to be ground-breaking. It promises to shoot us right into the limelight.

And so, we signed our first deal. This shall be the beginning of it all. Wish us luck.

Last week we tried Shisha at Baghdad St .. orange flavour. there's always a first time for everything. at the verge of coughing during the first few puffs. and then i was ok liao. :D

Anyway i wanted to document the feeling of signing the contract. because this what i'm talking about. money cant buy this kinda shit. Well, it's overwhelming. It's exciting. it's crazy! I have never felt this way before. hmm. Not when i got attached. Not when I got into NUS. not when I got into NOC. Hmm i think i felt this way when i took my first flight. ya. that's it. Then i guess money can buy it after all. But wait. after a few more times, and the feeling goes away. the first time when the airplane takes off. that feeling. i was clutching the chair very tightly.

ha. but well, that means i will be busy for the next 2 weeks. Executing the necessary plans to expand the business. I don't expect to be rich immediately. I am willing to spend 10 years in this business if that's what it takes for it to take off. All i want is to do what I love, and don't need to starve doing it, and have a roof over my head. Told you i'm a simple guy.

I'm moving next week. woohoo. excited.

Well, Class 95 fills the room. :D good to be listening to sweet familiar tunes.

There's about 50 new albums and 75 movies. That's my only way of relaxing now. Backing up to my external hard disk drives now.

I gained 5 kgs over the past weeks. and I need to exercise very badly. Will swim more often.

I feel happy and at the same time, worried for my friends who are travelling overseas for their grad trip. Especially dee who's in the states. Well, God, if He's still there, guide him please. Don't think He will hear my prayer after all these.

I think i have become a sadist and pessimist. Or rather - i think i have gotten worse compared to last time. G says that i'm not prudent and I cant control my finances. I told him it's not. It's just that I choose to spent it on the person I loved. I guess I need to learn after all.

I'd like to end this entry with a confession : I talked to ants today. I asked them one very important question.

Is love really that important?

the 150,000 rupee question.

2009-05-10T01:39:00.003+08:00

It's important to know what are we loving. do we love the person as himself/herself? Do we love the character, the personality, the habits? The accent, the voice, generally the being?

Or do we love the way they love us? The way they give us flowers every week ? The way they look into our eyes and say I love you ? Or the way they take care of us ? In short, did you fall in love with them because of what he/she did to you?

Well. You might say that 'it's the whole package'. Of course it's the bloody package. Everybody wants the whole package. But well, it seems that when the sea turns rough, when the storm approaches, everything that he/she did becomes rather irrelevant and easily forgettable. Too bad.

So if he's very sweet, but he's short tempered, do you still love him ? Or if he's good tempered, but he is a hopeless romantic. Would you still consider him ? If she's damn sweet looking, but will never affirm you that she loves you, would you want her ? If she's good looking, but can't take care of your family for nuts, would you think about it ?

Anyway, love to spend time with the nephews. Kids kill us sometimes. But we learn so much from them. For example, watching Nemo for the #25 times will make you feel guilty when fish is served on the dinner table. Ha. Err, after the fiftieth time of Batman, Spiderman, and Harry Porter, you start to believe that they really do exist. They never fail to crack me up. They come into my room to visit me every 15 minutes ( if they're not already playing hotwheels on the floor behind me ) and say " i am very boring.. got things to play? ".. haha.

That aside, you start to learn, that fundamentally, the basics of human emotions. Cos children don't hide them. They don't have 2 faces. They don't care if you are rich or poor. They don't judge. Well, of course Geoyi always asks me why is my tummy so big, but that aside, they love me as much as I love them. I always wonder - where will I be when they're 20 years old. That's about 12 years from now. That would make me hmm...

My younger nephew woke me up at 745 today jumping on my bed, making monkey noises, asking me to turn on the computer for him..I ignored him. and he start to lie on the floor, singing songs etc. The elder one was doing homework the WHOLE day while i was working on my proposal. * anyway i eat pig's trotter today and i think i won't eat pork for at least 3 months. It was from 周庄@Anchorpoint. Basically yesterday ( friday ) was my cousin's wedding anniversary. i think it's funny how they went dating at anchorpoint, and eating pig's trotter ( they couldnt finish and it became my lunch today ). but haha. it's funny. My cousin put on make up and all. and i think he took half a day leave..

** Pheephee and i are suppose to be working. But we're just like msning each other EVERYTIME the lightning and thunder comes. HAHA. it's damn funny. Ok. it doesnt funny now. but when we were doing it just now, it was. This is the kinda of joke where you can't tell a third party or blog it ( ooops) cos it wont be funny la.

Back to the wedding anniversary. I think it's damn sweet ! :D
And it's mother's day today. Gotta call my mum.

Saw a lot of photos on fb. Of friends. Associates. Strangers. Travel photos. Happy sia. I think i will have to work damn hard these 2 months. till at least July. then i will take a break with Alexseah. GuangZhou? or where? hmm.

Gary and i have been meeting up often to discuss bout our proposal, and brainstorming bout Hoovix's foundations. Gotta get the namecards ready. The backbone of the company has to be up. What do we believe in. What is our bottomline. What's the projected revenue.

Designed something fresh today. Finally have been productive for the past few days. Settled one project, going to pitch for two on Monday and Tuesday.

Gotta document the whole journey of Hoovix, so that when it fails, at least i can look back at the documentation and laugh at the blunders and errors. Haha.

Love is just like any other emotions. Just a chemical reaction in the body. Give it the right environment, the rights words to trigger the chemicals, the right moves they call it, and you get love. It's not really rocket science. Just a shame how some just don't get it. 爱很简单. Just don't complicate it. Dont.

Sometimes we argue till we forgot what we argue for. We forgot what's the root cause. haha. it's funny now that im not in one anymore, when i look at other ppl's relationship, the way the argue is amusing, childish and totally no meaning. haha. yup.

I felt very sad when my couple friends break up. More so when I know both of them. Cos i was there. My world stopped for 3 weeks. My projects got delayed. And I am bout to fail my fucking module. As far as I can see, only Alex has this kinda stupid reaction. I think my friends handle their breaks better. Ha. Alex is a loser in this. :D

Well, we all learn. The harder we fall, the higher we bounce.

You can lie to the world, but you can't lie to yourself. And the God above. And the Devil below.

Take care ppl in California. Ppl in Melbourne. Ppl in Perth ! And Miss Birmingham. haha and those gg US for work and study, pls pls go get your jabs. Hope to go back Ipoh soon. and go johor for a visit. Miss those chicken wings la !

Gotta go get the hair cut. Feel like paying Jantzen a visit. Nostalgia sake. One more for the memories.

Tc ppl.

Quick Summary

2009-05-06T03:01:00.002+08:00

I wanted this entry to be about life love and sex. but too bad, i really don't have the time to type. So, well, I shall list down some thoughts that have been on my mind.

1. I am worried that I might fail my paper.
2. I hate posers and people who think they know everything.
3. i dreamt of being a monk yesterday. because i want to manage my anger.
4. blocking certain websites is a good idea
5. pc or mac? mac. anytime.
6. canon or nikon? canon anytime. buy in the states.
7. blackberry or nokia? blackberry. anytime.
8. my headphones cost more than your iphone is quite apt.
9. i love dogs. i just love them. omg. just love the way he can just sit on my lap without moving for an hour or so. ( he fell asleep, and my leg went numb
10. i dun think my english is that bad. nb. but can definitely be improved
11. all the memories just flooded my brain. i couldnt help but sigh.
12. i think there's a chance for hoovix. and i shall gather all courage to pull it off.
13. i think i'm stretching myself too thin
14. i need to go for a swim
15. i feel that im drifting, again.
16. gotta work hard this weekend for 2 proposals

im too tired now. i cant think already. godspeed people. will blog next time when i'm travelling from meetings to meetings. will try. nitez

Turn me on.

2009-05-04T02:49:00.001+08:00

reaching the end of the line.

2009-05-01T05:42:00.005+08:00

Quiet - Rachael Yamagata

It was saddening. Good men not acting when the situation calls for them. Evil prevails. Sigh. EugeneHeng always says " Some are born good. Some turned good. " Which category do I fall under?" Again, I'm not so sure if it's all the exams stress, the overdose of ribs with gary, the Yingyang Drink and peanut toast @ KimGary ( no pun intended ), or it's just me. I have had indigestion, the most wicked nightmares that made me wana bury my head under the bedbug ridden bed, moments where I stoned for 5 minutes straight, staring at the light in front of me. Like I am drifting.

Here I go again, right? What is it. What is this emotion which I tried running away from which seem to be overwhelming me now. I am excited about H∞vix. Gary and I just had a 3 hours brainstorm session, about the structure, the launch strategy, the long term goal, the short one, the ..

*** Interrupted by this English cluster mate. I feel bad. I spoke 5 sentences ( i counted) to him in this whole 10 months that we stayed together in the same cluster. He's leaving for Vietnam, and he's not coming back anymore. All the opportunities which I had to talk to him, to know him better, to find out more about him, are all down the drain. I don't know. It's weird. As I watched him walking down the hallway, I feel like I am letting a friend walking away.

Just now i thought i would give him a hug, but i was in my boxers, and it would be weird if I suddenly initiate physical contact with him. HAha. Well, at least I added him on FB last friday. And at least I shook his hand just now.

Now. Back to H∞vix. yeh, we discussed a bit about the manpower management , the project management process.. well all the standard stuffs that must be ironed out before starting a company. Got pretty excited about the launch plan. Sent my heart racing when an idea hit us. It's great.

Anyway we wanted to watch the Xmen Wolvey, but the best seat was like 2nd row from the front. We gave it a miss. Browsed some magazines at PageOne, looked for wacom tablet pads at Best, Challenger..

It's weird. This feeling. Like I'm lost. Not about my career. But about life. About these few months. Just lost. Not sure what I want to achieve. Not sure if i'm good for anything. Not sure. Uncertainty is looming tall.

Difficult times. Quite a number of projects to settle. Some have started since last Oct. Gotta complete all of them before accepting new projects.

A thought on Queues - since i studied Queuing systems this semester, I thought, why not share something here. The Hongkong Kim Gary Restaurant. We walked past it twice, and we saw the long queue outside the restaurant. The moment we saw it, we said let's come back again. And usually people who said that they would, will not come back. But we did. And actually, the queue looks long, but the customers waiting in line actually disappear into the restaurant quite quickly. Well, this is called human perception. The conclusion is - we must make sure that the customers think that the queue is very short, even though it takes forever to reach the end.

Well. it's like 6 am. What did i do to deserve such sanity and clarity to submit an entry at this hour. Pheephee, you're right. Perhaps I am boring. And well, Kai Li is right too. Boring guy studying some boring subject trying to be creative. True. True all true. Damn. Damn. Damn.

yup.

2009-04-29T00:12:00.001+08:00

dun be gay

2009-04-28T21:47:00.001+08:00

double legends

2009-04-28T21:40:00.001+08:00

canto pop a bit by the king of pop bit

2009-04-28T21:36:00.000+08:00

lambert :D

2009-04-27T22:03:00.001+08:00