Take my relationship with the mid aged couple who sells chicken/duck rice downstairs. We could have had a very professional relationship, meaning we have our transaction everytime, and we do not necessarily be friendly to each other. We need each other just as much, and it’s not like I have other choices. For some reasons, I think they like me, and yes, sentimental as I can be, I do enjoy observing the relationship dynamics between a man and a woman, whose age would add up to >100. I will never know their names, as I will never feel that I have the status to ask for them. But I feel like they know me, and they calling me 小弟 is affectionate by nature.
They don’t talk to each other much, the man knows what he’s doing, sometimes the woman takes over. Yet they do not comment on each others’ way of cutting the chicken/duck, or anything, though I can feel the difference. They know I love the bones, and they no longer ask which part when I order. They are friendly people, they do not bicker with each other, speak Cantonese and Hokkien, and Mandarin. There’s affinity when you speak dialects. Doesn’t matter if you know only a few words, they assume you know more. But using dialects would make them happier, and that would translate to a bigger portion / more love when cutting the meat.
Things changed last month when I did not want to gain anymore weight, and also, last week when I decided to try going vegetarian. When I saw them downstairs, I turned away, because I felt paiseh that I have not bought from them anymore. Instead of business transactions, we transact smiles and hellos. Just like what I do with a lot of other people. We are drifting apart I guess. God has put me in this position in life, to experience and absorb all this. We call this humanity.
Take another example, my relationship with my neighbor. I do not know his name, I talked to him less than 20 times. I borrowed his Allen Key when I was finetuning my electric guitar, his phone to call Dee when I was stranded outside my house, without my keys, my phone went dead, and my housemates were nt reaching anytime soon. We say hi whenever we meet at the corridor. Whether we have had dinner. That’s it. That’s all to it.
The relationship was not built upon anything, other than our thin slicing of each other, within the first few minutes of the time we first met. Assumptions, judgements, prejudice, a certain impression shapes up when we meet new people. All those generalizations kick in, we hate we love we despise, naturally.
Trust is a big word, built with small acts, but a gentle breeze could rock its solid foundation if we’re not too careful.
The journey to the south continued with cock ups, highs and downs, more time management issues, long term strategies, new office adaptation, and other stuffs.
The old wither and die, the new breathe in a new voice, a new mind, and conjure up new exciting ideas. We moved from milestones to milestones while pushing aside obstacles, and covering ourselves with wet blankets ppl generously threw at us, but they do protect us from the glaring eyes of the lazy. The heavy wet blankets ppl throw at us, we took it as encouragement, we took it as motivation, and we do not once, asked them to screw themselves. We seen them as a contant reminder to ourselves, that there are people waiting for us to fail, likewise, there are friends who are ready to pop the champagne to celebrate small milestones.
Sometimes we lose ourselves when we are drifting, trying to maneuver the difficult corners of projects, but we’re not going to commit that mistake again. While trying to stay afloat, we also look further, for sources of inspirations, and to see if there’s a permanent island we can cling on more permanently.
There’ll be times when we’re at the eye of the storm and we can feel the peace and calmness, not knowing what’ll hit us next, while there were other times when the boat was rocking so violently we thought we’ll be going overboard anytime.
One quarter has passed for 2010. We are already tackling the 2nd quarter. Before long, we’re closing the 2nd one as well. We have to be continue being hungry and move very quickly.
The world will not wait for us. Not anymore.
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