This Christmas has been solemn one. We all had heavy hearts few weeks before Christmas, since we were at Batam for the Annual Church Camp. Grandpa Leow has been admitted into the hospital.
One thing led to another, and he went from the normal ward, to the high dependancy unit, to the intensive care unit.
We were there a few times, during lunch time, and our hearts sank every time we saw him. It must be painful.The 84 year old man has all sorts of tubes attached to his body. The incompetent doctors and half boiled trainee student nurses didn't make the situation better. My apologies, but if you can't treat every patient like your own grandpa, and when you freaking rolled your stupid eyes when we asked that you drip some water onto the man's lips,you deserve to just go cook some shit and help yourself.
You see, if you're Lee Kuan Yew, you'll have 10 specialists and maybe 20 more nurses taking care of you. Ok this is a bit childish, but well, if you can't give top quality service, then don't call yourself a hospital. With constructions nearby, there's so much dust and noise. What the hell are the people on top thinking ? Have they ever stayed in there before?
Looking at his family members was tougher. When we prayed, I didn't shed a tear. Till now. Well, my response was always slow. It takes me a while to realise that the person is no longer with us anymore. I grieve 4 years after my grandma passed on.
Lots of lessons to be learnt from life, and death. There's not much time here. I'll save that for another entry.
Christmas days would be the day we remember Grandpa Leow. During world cup 2010, when we were watching the 3am matches, he would ask us which countries were playing against which ones. During church, he would always sit at the end of the row, because he would always visit the washroom at about 75% of the sermon. I don't know why but his tiny but steady footsteps always made my heart dance. He's incredible independant for a 84 year old. Man of a few words, I could always hear him asking one of the siblings about the other's whereabout in chinese. I always felt love when he did that.
I didn't have a chance to know this man. I believe he's a great man, and he's loved deeply by his grandchildren, and his children.
Now he's gone, for the treasures in heaven, and I, for one, will remember him during every Christmas Day.
Now how do we grieve ? How do we be at peace, when someone is no longer with us. When you call the person, nobody will answer, you go to his room, he will no longer be there. His faint footsteps will fill our empty hearts. The chair which was once occupied by him. His favourite cup. What do we do ?
There are fundamental questions which mankind have not been able to answer, in spite of the advancement of science.
Where do we go when we die ?
Spiritually, we believe the soul and spirit leave the body, uniting with God. That's what we believe as Christians. This gives us a closure, as this was clearly written in the bible.
We humans are the only spieces on earth that have the mind to pray to things. We pray to rocks, the sky, the suns, the volcanos, the rain, the trees. We somehow found solace in prayers. And that's why we need to be satisfied spiritually. it's a need.
Believe in something. Anything.
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